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Christmas Season
This holiday season let's remember those suffering in Africa, Latin America, and Asia and pretty much anyone else who doesn't live in the suburbs.
DECEMBER 18TH, 2010
4.00 (3 votes)
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Confession
My attraction to British accents is counteracted by my repulsion to British smiles.
DECEMBER 18TH, 2010
4.00 (2 votes)
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Christmas Season
This Christmas season let's briefly imagine volunteering at a soup kitchen before remembering how freaky homeless people are.
DECEMBER 18TH, 2010
3.00 (4 votes)
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Somewhat Topical
At this point, even Sonny Bono looks more lifelike than Cher.
DECEMBER 18TH, 2010
0.00 (0 votes)
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Workplace
Congratulations on fucking your way to the middle.
DECEMBER 17TH, 2010
4.50 (4 votes)
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Workplace
Apparently your definition of business casual is at odds with my definition of business casual.
DECEMBER 17TH, 2010
4.25 (4 votes)
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Workplace
My tremendous indolence is rivaled only by my awesome ineptitude.
DECEMBER 17TH, 2010
0.00 (0 votes)
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Christmas Season
Here's hoping that the only fruitcake served at your Christmas meal is your flamboyant cousin Jerry.
DECEMBER 17TH, 2010
3.50 (4 votes)
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Hanukkah
In honor of Hanukkah let's spend eight nights using a particularly oily lube.
DECEMBER 17TH, 2010
0.00 (0 votes)
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Somewhat Topical
I'm thinking of becoming a Christian Scientist just so that I can justify my ignorance of the healthcare debate.
DECEMBER 17TH, 2010
4.00 (1 votes)
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Christmas Season
When I was a kid I thought that Santa was a belligerent, drunken philanderer until I realized that it was just my Dad in a costume.
DECEMBER 15TH, 2010
0.00 (0 votes)
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Confession
Your performance in bed leads me to believe that I may have inadvertently dabbled in nercrophilia.
DECEMBER 15TH, 2010
4.67 (3 votes)
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Breakup
You may have shit in my heart, but I shit in your sock drawer.
DECEMBER 15TH, 2010
4.00 (3 votes)
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Christmas Season
Believing in Santa Claus is akin to believing that I have the capacity to bring you to orgasm.
DECEMBER 15TH, 2010
5.00 (1 votes)
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Birthday
Me forgetting your birthday would be like you having sex with a partner.
DECEMBER 15TH, 2010
5.00 (1 votes)
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Flirting
Our relationship has reached the stage where I'd like to start calling you by an endearing nickname such as honey, sugar, or beaner.
DECEMBER 15TH, 2010
5.00 (1 votes)
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Workplace
Failing to get you a Christmas gift had nothing to do with you being a temp, but it had everything to do with you being totally unfuckable.
DECEMBER 14TH, 2010
4.33 (3 votes)
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Workplace
Based on all of the tiny paper umbrellas in your wastebasket, I believe that you've been drinking on the job.
DECEMBER 14TH, 2010
4.00 (4 votes)
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Thanks
Thanks for throwing me a surprise party, though it would have been more of a surprise if you hadn't passed out in a sea of vomit.
DECEMBER 14TH, 2010
5.00 (2 votes)
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Sympathy
Sorry that your ex-girlfriend kept your shaft and balls.
DECEMBER 14TH, 2010
4.50 (2 votes)
