I will be very excited for your new job once I figure out how it will benefit me.
Sorry my devotion to pork products is stronger than my devotion to Judaism.
That warning about me and the office anti-fraternization policy was mostly a joke.
Sorry you getting your ass kicked was part of an actor's elaborate scheme for more attention.
Good luck remembering to double check that the ass you drunkenly slap is not a dude in a kilt.
The current economy has prompted plastic surgeons to offer some excellent discounts.
You'll always be my first choice for a drunken hook up.
I know a great couch with 6 dollar bottles of vodka.
Let's mentally prepare ourselves for the horrifying noises our old relatives make when they eat.
Sorry your courageous decision to leave the company has left you unemployed.
Sorry my company took over and dismantled your company.
Sleeping with you would really make ending my current relationship easier.
I am looking forward to pretending I am excited to see you.
