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Encouragement
Good luck birthing your baby and trying to restrain youself from punching your husband in the balls as a result.
MARCH 27TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Apology
Sorry your colon committed suicide.
FEBRUARY 7TH, 2012
3.00 (2 votes)
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Birthday
I hope you get to tap dat ass on your birthday.
DECEMBER 16TH, 2011
0.00 (0 votes)
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Farewell
While I'm sad that you are leaving the company, I'm psyched that I'll be the prettiest girl in the office once you're gone.
SEPTEMBER 30TH, 2011
5.00 (1 votes)
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Farewell
We will miss you way more than we will miss anyone else who ever leaves the company.
SEPTEMBER 29TH, 2011
0.00 (0 votes)
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Congratulations
Congratulations on escaping your terrible job with your soul still intact.
JANUARY 14TH, 2011
5.00 (2 votes)
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Congratulations
Congratulations on avoiding embarassingly public battles with your childish ex on Facebook.
DECEMBER 27TH, 2010
2.67 (3 votes)
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Thanks
If I were a gay dude, I'd totally let you pitch.
SEPTEMBER 13TH, 2010
0.00 (0 votes)
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Party
Let's get drunk and bang some livestock.
JULY 31ST, 2010
5.00 (2 votes)
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Workplace
May your new job bring you happiness, prosperity, and super awesome pooping bathrooms.
JUNE 28TH, 2010
4.33 (6 votes)
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Encouragement
You're so manly, you could even make catching look masculine.
JUNE 8TH, 2010
2.50 (4 votes)
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Friendship
You're so fun that I would totally still get drunk with you even if you had advanced leprosy. Like, limbs falling off and shit.
JUNE 8TH, 2010
2.67 (9 votes)
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Sports
I fucking hate sports.
JUNE 8TH, 2010
5.00 (2 votes)
-
Flirting
I want to anally love your leg.
JUNE 4TH, 2010
5.00 (1 votes)
-
Wedding
Thanks for talking me out of stabbing my fiance during one of my many psychotic bridezilla moments.
JUNE 4TH, 2010
3.00 (2 votes)
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Wedding
Thanks for making sure I will be the prettiest fucking princess ever on my wedding day.
JUNE 4TH, 2010
5.00 (2 votes)
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Workplace
Sorry your ass is more capable of managing the food it shits out than your boss is at managing people.
JUNE 4TH, 2010
5.00 (2 votes)
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Flirting
You're hotter than any of the skanks that Prince banged in the 80s.
MAY 3RD, 2010
4.50 (2 votes)
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Birthday
It's your birthday; take a break from blowing everything in site!
MAY 3RD, 2010
5.00 (1 votes)
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Birthday
Wilford Brimley and his beetis wish you a very happy birthday.
APRIL 30TH, 2010
5.00 (2 votes)
