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Somewhat Topical
I hope this ticket for an Italian cruise demonstrates how much you mean to me.
JANUARY 19TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Birthday
This birthday greeting has been brought to you by my fake sense of obligation and fear of being shunned by the rest of the office.
JANUARY 19TH, 2012
4.50 (10 votes)
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Workplace
If I look confused, it's because my brain is having trouble processing the sheer amount of stupid I'm surrounded by.
JANUARY 19TH, 2012
4.00 (1 votes)
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Workplace
Being competent at your job simply means your lazy co-workers will learn to bypass the other office idiots and bring their unwanted work directly to you.
JANUARY 10TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Confession
I'm not being passive-aggressive; I'm controlling my urge to choke you.
JANUARY 10TH, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
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Confession
If likes, retweets, and repins counted as fame, I'd be a Kardashian.
JANUARY 5TH, 2012
1.00 (1 votes)
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Workplace
Congratulations on demonstrating your importance by turning a non-issue into a two-hour staff meeting.
JANUARY 5TH, 2012
4.50 (2 votes)
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Confession
The more I give people the benefit of the doubt, the more they confirm they don't deserve it.
JANUARY 4TH, 2012
4.50 (2 votes)
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Sports
Congratulations on your Rose Bowl win; it couldn't have been easy to find a college with such low admission standards.
JANUARY 3RD, 2012
3.00 (2 votes)
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Workplace
I'm calling in sick with anal glaucoma; I can't see my ass going in to work today.
JANUARY 3RD, 2012
3.50 (2 votes)
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Workplace
I apologize for allowing my job to get in the way of doing your job for you.
JANUARY 3RD, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Somewhat Topical
@OceanMarketting: because you can't spell 'terrible customer service' with just one T.
DECEMBER 27TH, 2011
4.00 (1 votes)
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Christmas Season
Yes, I got you a gift; it's called not killing you in your sleep.
DECEMBER 15TH, 2011
4.00 (1 votes)
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Thanks
Thanks for being the cautionary tale that inspired me to lose weight; you deserve a tiara and another piece of cake.
DECEMBER 15TH, 2011
0.00 (0 votes)
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Apology
Sorry I let your latest faux emergency, based on terrible life choices and alcoholic tendencies, go to voicemail.
DECEMBER 15TH, 2011
5.00 (1 votes)
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Sympathy
Sorry your computer is broken and that you'll never see this incredibly touching ecard.
DECEMBER 15TH, 2011
0.00 (0 votes)
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Congratulations
Congratulations on surviving my latest un-friending spree on Facebook!
DECEMBER 7TH, 2011
0.00 (0 votes)
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Workplace
My boss asked me if I could be any less productive, so I accepted his challenge and took a nap at my desk.
DECEMBER 7TH, 2011
0.00 (0 votes)
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Christmas Season
I was going to get you a gift, but Jesus said he didn't want his birthday to be a big deal, this year.
DECEMBER 7TH, 2011
0.00 (0 votes)
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Music
I throw my waffle in the air sometimes singin' hey-o leggo my Eggo!
DECEMBER 7TH, 2011
4.00 (2 votes)
