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Seasonal
I'm not undressing you with my eyes. I'm actually adding clothes instead.
MAY 23RD, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
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Admin pros day
You put the word *ass* in assistant. I dig that about you.
MAY 17TH, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
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Reminders
Paybacks are a bitch. And so am I.
MAY 16TH, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
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Confession
Things I've gotten done today....
MAY 14TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Mother's Day
Sorry you had to spend my college tuition savings on all of my childhood visits to the Emergency Room. Happy Mother's Day!
MAY 13TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Confession
Nothing tastes as good as kicking a supermodel's ass would feel.
MAY 11TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Confession
Let's be honest. Nothing tastes as good as kicking a supermodel's ass would feel.
MAY 11TH, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
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Apology
Just as an FYI, I won't be needing naps anymore. Good luck getting your shit done while I'm awake!
MAY 10TH, 2012
5.00 (3 votes)
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Mother's Day
If I hear 'but you're not my mom' one more time on Mother's Day from you, I'm going to send you back to your mother - in a box. Any questions?
MAY 9TH, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
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Sports
Sweat. It's just fat...crying.
MAY 3RD, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Cry for Help
3 out of 4 people are born without a sense of humor. Being a buzzkill is no laughing matter.
MAY 2ND, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Cry for Help
If you or someone you love is suffering from Tanorexia, get help now. After all, Orange is not a skin color, it is a fruit - and so are you.
MAY 2ND, 2012
3.00 (2 votes)
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Cinco de Mayo
I used to think Cinco de Mayo meant Margarita Day in Spanish. Now I know it just means another excuse to drink Margaritas.
MAY 1ST, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
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TV
It's official. I'm a DVR hoarder and compulsive TV addict.
APRIL 29TH, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
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Cry for Help
The weatherman gave no indication of the shitstorm of crazy people that were coming out today.
APRIL 29TH, 2012
4.00 (2 votes)
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Confession
I wish I would've factored in a hangover when I put all of my housework off until Sunday.
APRIL 29TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Confession
Hey can you hold my morals for me, I'm going to need two hands to drink tonight.
APRIL 27TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Confession
If you wanted me to give you something sugar-coated, you should've met me at the bakery for coffee and advice.
APRIL 27TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
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Encouragement
I'll drink to that! Oh, who are we kidding..I'll drink to anything.
APRIL 26TH, 2012
5.00 (1 votes)
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Encouragement
I've got my workout gear. Now I just have to get my ass-in-gear.
APRIL 25TH, 2012
0.00 (0 votes)
