Your cubicle smells like fart.
I love you more than Danny Tanner loves Windex.
I wouldn't talk shit about you behind your back if you didn't give me a reason to.
I've worked really hard to get to where I am. Well that and I'm the boss's daughter.
What's the job number for spending the entire workday on Pinterest?
Facebook has taught me one thing... I'm friends with a bunch of stupid assholes.
A gallon a day keeps the doctors away.
Karma's a bitch, you motherfucking bitch.
It's just a man cold. Stop being such a pussy.
I'm sorry to hear about your explosive diarrhea.
Lathering yourself in antibacterial gel has inadvertently lowered your immunity to germs.
I wish we weren't mutual friends with people we want to make fun of on Facebook.
Is it bedtime yet? I need an 8 hour break from you.
