I just want you to know that Amish you.
St. Patrick is just like St. Nicholas, except he brings hangovers and herpes instead of stocking stuffers and presents.
Yo Haiti, I'mma let you finish, but Chile had one of the biggest earthquakes of all time.
I'd love for us to hang out and catch up once I'm absolutely sure I'm doing better than you.
Happy Pi Day! May your circumference divided by your diameter always be a perfect 3.14159 2653589793 238462643 38327....