Yom Kippur User Cardsshowing 1 - 20 of 222
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  • That moment in my life. When I realize. I just don't give two fucks.

    That moment in my life. When I realize. I just don't give two fucks.

    MadahmG11/10/2013
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • Break the fast? Hell, we shit-canned that fucker about six hours ago.

    Break the fast? Hell, we shit-canned that fucker about six hours ago.

    Ryan341225209/05/2013
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • Yom Kippur. It's like once a year God gets to kick you a good hard one in the nuts for having the ham and cheese platter.

    Yom Kippur. It's like once a year God gets to kick you a good hard one in the nuts for having the ham and cheese platter.

    Ryan341225209/05/2013
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • Yom Kippur. God's annual way of telling me I suck just a little bit more than usual.

    Yom Kippur. God's annual way of telling me I suck just a little bit more than usual.

    Ryan341225209/05/2013
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • Yes, God deliberately scheduled Kol Nidre on Friday the 13th. Get with it, people!

    Yes, God deliberately scheduled Kol Nidre on Friday the 13th. Get with it, people!

    noamraucher08/28/2013
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • Why does Yom Kippur come only once a year? Said no Temple member ever.

    Why does Yom Kippur come only once a year? Said no Temple member ever.

    rabbijkl08/13/2013
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • I'm the only Jew in the Synagogue tweeting during the Shemah. I know I can do the cover-the-eyes thing with my left hand, but that would%.

    I'm the only Jew in the Synagogue tweeting during the Shemah. I know I can do the cover-the-eyes thing with my left hand, but that would%.

    brianfeeeshy01/30/2013
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • I did not assault you. I just high-fived your face. With my foot.

    I did not assault you. I just high-fived your face. With my foot.

    Dionne122610/18/2012
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • 'golly gosh madam you do have a fine set of mammaries' 'Yes officer but not quite as ample as your daddaries'.

    "golly gosh madam you do have a fine set of mammaries" "Yes officer but not quite as ample as your daddaries".

    snapper7610/08/2012
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • Rabbi: Good news. Received a report--most of you made it into the book of life. If not you can do extra mitzvoth. I'll contact you privately.

    Rabbi: Good news. Received a report--most of you made it into the book of life. If not you can do extra mitzvoth. I'll contact you privately.

    rabbijkl09/28/2012
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • The reason I didn't fast for Yom Kippur was that I hadn't sinned. At least now I have a head start on my repentance for next year!

    The reason I didn't fast for Yom Kippur was that I hadn't sinned. At least now I have a head start on my repentance for next year!

    dc2oc_ecards09/27/2012
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • I don't care if it's gefilte fish! Didn't the fast end? FEED ME!

    I don't care if it's gefilte fish! Didn't the fast end? FEED ME!

    stansvoices09/26/2012
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • The Jewish Handbook: (1) Remember your people's suffering by (2) suffering, and (3) make others suffer by complaining about it.

    The Jewish Handbook: (1) Remember your people's suffering by (2) suffering, and (3) make others suffer by complaining about it.

    ethan cohen09/26/2012
    4.00 (1 votes)
  • Don't read this e-card in Temple... Unless there's still enough time to repent for reading this e-card in Temple.

    Don't read this e-card in Temple... Unless there's still enough time to repent for reading this e-card in Temple.

    ethan cohen09/26/2012
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • I'm a progressive Jew - rather than staying home and fasting, I am slacking off at work and avoiding Pinterest.

    I'm a progressive Jew - rather than staying home and fasting, I am slacking off at work and avoiding Pinterest.

    jbkatz09/26/2012
    2.67 (3 votes)
  • There is a God when you can atone for your sins guilt-free online and know the experience is being duplicated by millions.

    There is a God when you can atone for your sins guilt-free online and know the experience is being duplicated by millions.

    ISpeakOnlyTruth09/26/2012
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • I repent for spending the entire day of Yom Kippur lusting after food on Pinterest.

    I repent for spending the entire day of Yom Kippur lusting after food on Pinterest.

    scothibb09/26/2012
    5.00 (2 votes)
  • 'How could you leave on Yom Kippur?'

    "How could you leave on Yom Kippur?"

    latingoddyss09/26/2012
    0.00 (0 votes)
  • Rather than repenting, praying for atonement, and fasting, I'm spending Yom Kippur envying, coveting, and lusting after food on Pinterest.

    Rather than repenting, praying for atonement, and fasting, I'm spending Yom Kippur envying, coveting, and lusting after food on Pinterest.

    scothibb09/26/2012
    5.00 (2 votes)
  • I ran fast this morning at Crossfit. That counts right? Happy Yom Kippur.

    I ran fast this morning at Crossfit. That counts right? Happy Yom Kippur.

    jweislow09/26/2012
    0.00 (0 votes)

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