Someday I want to adopt an Asian baby with you.
Let's break out the special lube tonight.
If I had balls, I'd shave them for you this Valentine's Day.
Please join me in further crippling the economy by sending an e-card this Valentine's Day.
My Valentine runs on batteries.
My love for you burns stronger than my urinary tract infection.
Don't forget to leave work early today so that people actually think you have Valentine's Day plans.
As long as you keep loving me I can keep hiding my crazy.
May you finish stronger than the New England Patriots this Valentine's Day.
I'd like to dedicate this boner to you.
Get your socks off and a condom on.
You're the top trending topic in the Twitter feed of my heart.
I want to grow old and disgusting with you.
My true love is out there somewhere and they can go fuck themselves.
You're someone I really feel like I can sleep with sober.
The GOP settling for Romney is a great reminder to thank you for settling for me.
I'm in love and not afraid to annoy the shit out of everyone.
I want to wake up in your legs.
This is the most special of the estimated one billion cards that will be sent this Valentine's Day.
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