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    My love for you is beyond words so don't expect a Valentine's Day card from me.

    My love for you is beyond words so don't expect a Valentine's Day card from me.

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    I will love you until the law asks me to stop.

    I will love you until the law asks me to stop.

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    Sorry that right now there's a 4th grader who has 29 more Valentines than you do.

    Sorry that right now there's a 4th grader who has 29 more Valentines than you do.

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    Just wanted to thank you in advance for the flowers I'm going to send to myself and pretend are from you.

    Just wanted to thank you in advance for the flowers I'm going to send to myself and pretend are from you.

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    They won't be able to fit what I'm about to do to you on a conversation heart.

    They won't be able to fit what I'm about to do to you on a conversation heart.

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    Don't forget to leave work early today so that people actually think you have Valentine's Day plans.

    Don't forget to leave work early today so that people actually think you have Valentine's Day plans.

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    As long as you keep loving me I can keep hiding my crazy.

    As long as you keep loving me I can keep hiding my crazy.

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    I'd stalk you even if it wasn't so convenient.

    I'd stalk you even if it wasn't so convenient.

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    I'm wildly in love with you provided my friends, family and therapist are in agreement.

    I'm wildly in love with you provided my friends, family and therapist are in agreement.

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    Happy Valentine's Day to someone I'm happy to get flowers for due to reasons other than illness or death.

    Happy Valentine's Day to someone I'm happy to get flowers for due to reasons other than illness or death.

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    I'd let you kiss me on the mouth immediately after oral sex.

    I'd let you kiss me on the mouth immediately after oral sex.

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    I love you more than serial killers love nondescript vans.

    I love you more than serial killers love nondescript vans.

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    My love for you burns stronger than my urinary tract infection.

    My love for you burns stronger than my urinary tract infection

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    Your street won't be the only thing getting plowed this Valentine's Day.

    Your street won't be the only thing getting plowed this Valentine's Day.

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    I'm in love and not afraid to annoy the shit out of everyone.

    I'm in love and not afraid to annoy the shit out of everyone

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    Let's have a quiet, relaxing, multi-course dinner cooked by you at home this Valentine's Day.

    Let's have a quiet, relaxing, multi-course dinner cooked by you at home this Valentine's Day.

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    I want to wake up in your legs.

    I want to wake up in your legs

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    I love you more than Newt Gingrich loves abandoning a sick wife.

    I love you more than Newt Gingrich loves abandoning a sick wife

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    I'm ready to change my Facebook relationship status if you are.

    I'm ready to change my Facebook relationship status if you are

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    Happy Valentine's Day to someone who was way ahead of Monopoly in replacing things in their life with cats.

    Happy Valentine's Day to someone who was way ahead of Monopoly in replacing things in their life with cats.

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