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Someday I want to adopt an Asian baby with you

Don't forget that blow jobs are like flowers for men

Please join me in further crippling the economy by sending an e-card this Valentine's Day.

Don't forget to leave work early today so that people actually think you have Valentine's Day plans.

My Valentine runs on batteries.

My love for you burns stronger than my urinary tract infection

As long as you keep loving me I can keep hiding my crazy.

May you finish stronger than the New England Patriots this Valentine's Day

I love you like a cannibal loves human flesh

Get your socks off and a condom on

You're the top trending topic in the Twitter feed of my heart

I want to grow old and disgusting with you

My true love is out there somewhere and they can go fuck themselves

You're someone I really feel like I can sleep with sober

The GOP settling for Romney is a great reminder to thank you for settling for me

Let's break out the special lube tonight

I promise to always tell you the truth about whether or not you look fat if you promise not to get fat

I'm in love and not afraid to annoy the shit out of everyone

This is the most special of the estimated one billion cards that will be sent this Valentine's Day

I want to wake up in your legs

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Someecards.com is the best site for free, funny ecards. We have greeting cards for every occasion - from important to utterly pointless. Send greetings for apology, birthday, baby, breakup, congratulations, encouragement, farewell, flirting, friendship, get well, sympathy, thanks, thinking of you, wedding, workplace, and holidays like Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. We suggest you e-mail them to friends, family, coworkers, loved ones, liked ones, and anyone else with fingers.