• refine by:
sort-by: Most Popular | Newest
  •  

    At least North Korea doesn't force its citizens to celebrate Valentine's Day.

    At least North Korea doesn't force its citizens to celebrate Valentine's Day.

  •  

    Let's have a fiscally but not sexually conservative Valentine's Day.

    Let's have a fiscally but not sexually conservative Valentine's Day

  •  

    Being emotionally drained from planning our Valentine's Day date won't stop me from loving you.

    Being emotionally drained from planning our Valentine's Day date won't stop me from loving you.

  •  

    I'm falling in love with you and would like to go on a second date.

    I'm falling in love with you and would like to go on a second date

  •  

    Big dinners make me drowsy so let's do the sex part first.

    Big dinners make me drowsy so let's do the sex part first

  •  

    Let's schedule enough dates between now and February 13 so that it won't be awkward to go out on Valentine's Day.

    Let's schedule enough dates between now and February 13 so that it won't be awkward to go out on Valentine's Day

  •  

    Happy Valentine's Day to your pants pocket since it calls me more than you do.

    Happy Valentine's Day to your pants pocket since it calls me more than you do.

  •  

    Be my Valentine if we're still dating then.

    Be my Valentine if we're still dating then

  •  

    Let's send our thoughts and prayers to Chris Brown's Valentine.

    Let's send our thoughts and prayers to Chris Brown's Valentine.

  •  

    I managed to secure Valentine's Day dinner reservations at both 4:45 p.m. and 11:30 p.m.

    I managed to secure Valentine's Day dinner reservations at both 4:45 p.m. and 11:30 p.m.

  •  

    I promise to always tell you the truth about whether or not you look fat if you promise not to get fat.

    I promise to always tell you the truth about whether or not you look fat if you promise not to get fat

  •  

    It's comforting to know that we're equally maladjusted.

    It's comforting to know that we're equally maladjusted

  •  

    Your gift to me was so wonderful that I think you've been cheating.

    Your gift to me was so wonderful that I think you've been cheating

  •  

    It's not what you do for me on Valentine's Day that matters but the amount of jealousy it provokes in others.

    It's not what you do for me on Valentine's Day that matters but the amount of jealousy it provokes in others

  •  

    This Valentine's Day, I want to take control of your body as badly as the Republican party does.

    This Valentine's Day, I want to take control of your body as badly as the Republican party does.

  •  

    Happy Valentine's Day to someone who raised me, loved me unconditionally, and made me almost capable of having a functional relationship.

    Happy Valentine's Day to someone who raised me, loved me unconditionally, and made me almost capable of having a functional relationship

  •  

    I'm in love and not afraid to annoy the shit out of everyone.

    I'm in love and not afraid to annoy the shit out of everyone

  •  

    Be aware that whether you give me Valentine's Day candy or not I will fear the worst regarding your thoughts on my weight.

    Be aware that whether you give me Valentine's Day candy or not I will fear the worst regarding your thoughts on my weight

  •  

    My one true love is the workweek ending.

    My one true love is the workweek ending.

  •  

    I hate Valentine's Day unless you'd like to be my date.

    I hate Valentine's Day unless you'd like to be my date

DON'T MISS THIS