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Be my Valentine and you may benefit from the impulsive spending of my Super Bowl winnings

This Valentine's Day, I want you to know exactly how I feel about you in someone else's words

Nothing Steve Jobs ever created could fully replace you in my life

Let's ironically celebrate Valentine's Day by going on a date

I'd like to plug my avatar's queue into your worm-like neural fibers, if you know what I mean

As fuck buddies, we should fuck this Valentine's Day

Just sending a preemptive apology since Valentine's Day can't possibly live up to your expectations

There's no one else I'd rather spend this annual obligation with

May your love for me not fade as quickly as your love for Obama

I love you more than Egyptians hate Mubarak

Remember not to wear yourself out with the SI Swimsuit Issue before our Valentine's Day date

Try not to think about the fact that Newt Gingrich is having more sex than you this Valentine's Day

Sorry the only ring you're wearing this Valentine's Day is a contraceptive in your vagina

May Gisele's Super Bowl comments make you less upset you're not dating a supermodel this Valentine's Day

I'm sure nothing in the movie Valentine's Day could top your plan for us unless your plan is to see Valentine's Day

I love you more than Newt Gingrich loves abandoning a sick wife

Let's watch your shows this Valentine's Day

Let's celebrate not having to celebrate Valentine's Day

Be on the short list to be my Valentine

This Valentine's Day, expect the finest flowers still available on Valentine's Day

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