


I wanted to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day but I used up all my love on Obama

Try not to savagely assault happy couples this Valentine's Day

I managed to secure Valentine's Day dinner reservations at both 4:45 p.m. and 11:30 p.m.

Let's have a fiscally but not sexually conservative Valentine's Day

Happy early Valentine's Day to someone who should already be planning the greatest night of my life

I feel an Obama-induced pressure to be extra smooth this Valentine's Day
Thinking of Facebook-stalking you this Valentine's Day
I feel an Obama-induced pressure to be extra smooth this Valentine's Day
You make my heart beat entirely too fast
Big dinners make me drowsy so let's do the sex part first
As fuck buddies, we should fuck this Valentine's Day