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Sorry the America you fought for is a place that would make the movie Jack and Jill

Thanks for serving our country so I can sit home and watch war movies

Congratulations on being a veteran who served only in peacetime

It's heroic service like yours that reminds me how meaningless my life is

Let's thank WWII vets for defeating Hitler and making America safe for lunatics who compare our leaders to Hitler

Thanks for doing what I'm way too big of a pussy to do

Happy Veterans Day from someone who can barely handle the simulated warfare of video games

I'd do anything to honor our veterans, short of sitting through a Veterans Day gathering, parade, or speech

This Veterans Day, I'd like to thank you for keeping America safer by never enlisting in the military

Should our country ever call on us to serve, let's cowardly flee to somewhere better than Canada

Happy Veterans day from your illegitimate Vietnamese daughter.

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