NBC 4 San Antonio, Cosmopolitan, UPROXX and BroBible. What do they have in common? They bought this story about a woman's exploding butt implants.
See the logo on the left? It's just as fake as the butt on the right. (via Newswatch33)
The story reads like a judgmental elderly person's poetry journal, an elegant wish-fulfillment epic of how justice was served to someone who literally embodied every way society has become vain and superficial:
A woman is in a coma after her butt implants exploded while doing squats at a gym.
Serena Beuford, 27, was working out for an Instagram video when she heard a loud pop.
Soon after, she fell to the floor screaming in agony... saying that her butt was gone.
According to Beuford's sister Jackie, Serena had visited an unlicensed clinic to get a 64-inch bottom.
She said her sister wanted to become famous on Instagram.
That clinic is now under investigation.
Doctors said Beuford will require extensive medical procedures to repair the damage caused by the implants. The eruption of her implants caused severe damage to her rectum, colon, and lower intestines.
The doctor treating Beuford said implants are not healthy for the body and are not meant to last long. (From News4SanAntonio)
*Snap snap snap* Dig it, daddy-o. Versions that included the direct quote from "an eyewitness" named "Jewel" were even more evocative and titillating:
...a patron at the gym, Jewel, said this is what happened: "I heard a loud popping noise followed by the woman falling to the floor. She was screaming my ass is gone! I had no idea what she was talking about until I saw her cushion like butt missing when EMS took her out the gym. She used to always show off her butt in the gym and tried to get guys attention with her work outs." (from Cosmopolitan)