Vardan Aslanyan is either a very unconvincing drug addict or the most uninformed clinically insane person ever allowed behind the wheel of a car. Assuming it's the former, we can at least cross "bath salts" off the list, considering everyone else in this video still has all their skin. Either way, it's a good thing you can't pay bail in swag. In a related story, we still have no idea what "swag" is.

Sources: The High Definite