Congratulations on sleeping with the same person for the rest of eternity
I'd like you to attend a wedding with me as a friend who I'm still going to try and sleep with
You'll never guess what I got you from your registry of pre-selected gifts
I wish I could remember all the weddings that ensured I'm not invited to any more weddings
I'll always consider you a dear friend who tends to put out at lavish social functions
Thanks for believing I can conceivably fill the "plus one" and not mocking me when I can't
Your destination wedding is the perfect excuse to visit a place I'm not really dying to see
I'm attending a beautiful wedding in a hideous bridesmaid dress
