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  • Yesterday

    Just a heads up that you're running out of time to invite me to your summer house this weekend.

    Just a heads up that you're running out of time to invite me to your summer house this weekend.

  • Feb. 26th, 2009

    It means so much to me that whenever I need to go out, get trashed and talk shit about people, you're always there for me.

    It means so much to me that whenever I need to go out, get trashed and talk shit about people, you're always there for me.

  • May. 13th, 2011

    Let's do a liquid cleanse with alcohol.

    Let's do a liquid cleanse with alcohol.

  • Mar. 2nd, 2012

    I can't wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend.

    I can't wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend.

  • Mar. 31st, 2010

    If you ever see me drinking a Bud Lite Lime, I have been kidnapped and am trying to signal you.

    If you ever see me drinking a Bud Lite Lime, I have been kidnapped and am trying to signal you.

  • Sep. 21st, 2009

    Let's alternate blackouts so we can piece together our night.

    Let's alternate blackouts so we can piece together our night.

  • Apr. 27th, 2008

    Let's go to a crowded bar or party to socialize exclusively with ourselves.

    Let's go to a crowded bar or party to socialize exclusively with ourselves.

  • Jan. 29th, 2011

    I am currently in the planning stages of a hangover.

    I am currently in the planning stages of a hangover.

  • Apr. 27th, 2012

    You'll always be a first round pick in my weekend drinking draft.

    You'll always be a first round pick in my weekend drinking draft.

  • Sep. 9th, 2007

    Expect a drunk dial soon.

    Expect a drunk dial soon.

  • Oct. 16th, 2007

    Let's get totally out of control tonight.

    Let's get totally out of control tonight.

  • Aug. 31st, 2007

    It's been too long since we threw up on each other.

    It's been too long since we threw up on each other.

  • May. 18th, 2011

    Let's party like the world's ending Saturday and continue partying when it doesn't.

    Let's party like the world's ending Saturday and continue partying when it doesn't.

  • Aug. 20th, 2007

    I suggest we drink before we go out drinking.

    I suggest we drink before we go out drinking.

  • May. 10th, 2010

    Just wondering on a scale from 1 to David Hasselhoff how drunk you were planning on getting this evening.

    Just wondering on a scale from 1 to David Hasselhoff how drunk you were planning on getting this evening.

  • Sep. 6th, 2007

    Regarding this evening, fuck my diet.

    Regarding this evening, fuck my diet.

  • Aug. 12th, 2007

    Let's confirm that we're getting pants-shitting drunk tonight.

    Let's confirm that we're getting pants-shitting drunk tonight.

  • Aug. 24th, 2007

    I know the perfect place for us to dry hump.

    I know the perfect place for us to dry hump.

  • Mar. 9th, 2008

    Let's invite ugly friends out tonight to highlight our cuteness.

    Let's invite ugly friends out tonight to highlight our cuteness.

  • Aug. 12th, 2007

    I'm seeking a complete stranger for a drunken, sloppy, public make-out.

    I'm seeking a complete stranger for a drunken, sloppy, public make-out.

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