Yesterday
Just a heads up that you're running out of time to invite me to your summer house this weekend.
May. 18th, 2012
Let's drink tonight like we're Facebook employees and drink more when we remember we're not.
Apr. 27th, 2012
You'll always be a first round pick in my weekend drinking draft.
Mar. 30th, 2012
Let's drink tonight like we won the Mega Millions and then drink even more when we don't.
Mar. 22nd, 2012
Let's celebrate Tim Tebow's arrival in New York with a night out that would completely mortify Tim Tebow.
Mar. 6th, 2012
Let's get drunker than Snooki's fetus tonight.
Mar. 2nd, 2012
Let's celebrate the weekend by working in an office for people out celebrating the weekend.
Mar. 2nd, 2012
The only fun part of being single is how much fun married people mistakenly assume I'm having every weekend.
Mar. 2nd, 2012
I can't wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend.
Nov. 27th, 2011
I drink on Sundays to cope with the realization that I'm almost out of time to drink.
Feb. 26th, 2009
It means so much to me that whenever I need to go out, get trashed and talk shit about people, you're always there for me.
May. 26th, 2011
I can't wait to hang out with you this weekend before completely ditching you for a random hookup.
May. 26th, 2011
I can't wait to get away from the city this weekend to the same place as everyone else from the city.
May. 18th, 2011
Let's party like the world's ending Saturday and continue partying when it doesn't.
May. 13th, 2011
Let's do a liquid cleanse with alcohol.
Apr. 8th, 2011
I'm excited for the plans I made this weekend that I'm going to break once I remember I don't like having plans.
Jan. 29th, 2011
I am currently in the planning stages of a hangover.
Jan. 4th, 2011
I obeyed all the traffic laws, except the one about drunk driving.
Oct. 28th, 2010
Let's try to make this weekend as debaucherous as a typical Monday night for Charlie Sheen.
Oct. 3rd, 2010
Let's make mutually inconvenient plans.