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    Let's confirm that we're getting pants-shitting drunk tonight.

    Let's confirm that we're getting pants-shitting drunk tonight

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    I've mapped out my Saturday.

    I've mapped out my Saturday

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    I will be attending your party or a better one if it comes up.

    I will be attending your party or a better one if it comes up

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    Let's make mutually inconvenient plans.

    Let's make mutually inconvenient plans

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    Let's do a liquid cleanse with alcohol.

    Let's do a liquid cleanse with alcohol

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    Let's do something completely unoriginal tonight.

    Let's do something completely unoriginal tonight

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    Let's party like the world's ending Saturday and continue partying when it doesn't.

    Let's party like the world's ending Saturday and continue partying when it doesn't

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    So I guess there are no dudes coming.

    So I guess there are no dudes coming

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    I am currently in the planning stages of a hangover.

    I am currently in the planning stages of a hangover.

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    I drink on Sundays to cope with the realization that I'm almost out of time to drink.

    I drink on Sundays to cope with the realization that I'm almost out of time to drink.

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    I've decided to have a relaxing weekend at home since no one invited me to do anything.

    I've decided to have a relaxing weekend at home since no one invited me to do anything

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    Someone's got to make a call on what we're doing tonight.

    Someone's got to make a call on what we're doing tonight

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    I usually set aside Sunday nights for debilitating self-pity.

    I usually set aside Sunday nights for debilitating self-pity

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    I know where there are hot skanks.

    I know where there are hot skanks

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    Let's go to a museum to see some cock.

    Let's go to a museum to see some cock

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    Let's be very clear about who's bringing what type of alcohol.

    Let's be very clear about who's bringing what type of alcohol

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    My weekend is pretty open.

    My weekend is pretty open

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    I'm totally up for a man date.

    I'm totally up for a man date

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    Let's keep what happened between me and you and all my friends.

    Let's keep what happened between me and you and all my friends

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    People have major expectations for your party.

    People have major expectations for your party

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