


I've decided to have a relaxing weekend at home since no one invited me to do anything

Let's go to a crowded bar or party to socialize exclusively with ourselves

Let's skip the not getting laid part of the evening and go directly to a strip club

I enjoy spending weekend nights reading about interesting things I could have been doing

Let's invite ugly friends out tonight to highlight our cuteness

It's been too long since I felt the mortifying regret of a one-night stand

I will be attending your party or a better one if it comes up

I know the perfect romantic restaurant for discussing fantasy football