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It wouldn't be a sausage fest without you

Shabbat Shalom to someone who seems to rest just as much on the other days of the week

Shabbat Shalom to the most Jewish Jewish person I know

I've decided to have a relaxing weekend at home since no one invited me to do anything

May your Friday the 13th be filled with naive, horny, pot-smoking teenagers and not a machete-wielding mass murderer

Rather than trying to meet women in a grown-up setting, let's get shitfaced in a dive bar and hope our dream girls stumble in

Let's go to a crowded bar or party to socialize exclusively with ourselves

Let's skip the not getting laid part of the evening and go directly to a strip club

I enjoy spending weekend nights reading about interesting things I could have been doing

Let's dress like whores to attract husbands

Let's invite ugly friends out tonight to highlight our cuteness

It's been too long since I felt the mortifying regret of a one-night stand

I will be attending your party or a better one if it comes up

Let's party like rock stars who only play video games

I'll stop by at 2:43 a.m.

I know the perfect romantic restaurant for discussing fantasy football

I've been training to party at your level

TGIF, motherfuckers

Consider yourself invited and a third wheel

Let's get totally out of control tonight

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Someecards.com is possibly to probably the best site on the Web for free, funny ecards. We have greeting cards for every occasion - from important to utterly pointless. Send greetings for apology, birthday, baby, breakup, congratulations, encouragement, farewell, flirting, friendship, get well, sympathy, thanks, thinking of you, wedding, workplace, and holidays like Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. We suggest you e-mail them to friends, family, coworkers, loved ones, liked ones, and anyone else with fingers.