I've decided to have a relaxing weekend at home since no one invited me to do anything
Let's go to a crowded bar or party to socialize exclusively with ourselves
Let's skip the not getting laid part of the evening and go directly to a strip club
I enjoy spending weekend nights reading about interesting things I could have been doing
Let's invite ugly friends out tonight to highlight our cuteness
It's been too long since I felt the mortifying regret of a one-night stand
I will be attending your party or a better one if it comes up
I know the perfect romantic restaurant for discussing fantasy football
I've decided to have a relaxing weekend at home since no one invited me to do anything
Consider yourself invited and a third wheel
Let's get totally out of control tonight
I'm going to stay in tonight and wait for your booty call
So I guess there are no dudes coming