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    You just committed up to seven human resources violations in one sentence.

    You just committed up to seven human resources violations in one sentence

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    You're somewhat useful at work but irreplaceable at happy hour.

    You're somewhat useful at work but irreplaceable at happy hour

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    I'm not convinced we've wasted enough time on this.

    I'm not convinced we've wasted enough time on this

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    This job is the perfect stepping stone towards not fulfilling my dreams.

    This job is the perfect stepping stone towards not fulfilling my dreams

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    I'm having the worst Monday since last Monday.

    I'm having the worst Monday since last Monday.

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    Let's factor my hangover into today's workload.

    Let's factor my hangover into today's workload

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    If we can't solve it via email, IM, texting, faxing, or phone calls, let's resort to meeting in person.

    If we can't solve it via email, IM, texting, faxing, or phone calls, let's resort to meeting in person

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    Let's all admit that I'm the smartest guy here.

    Let's all admit that I'm the smartest guy here

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    Let's agree that the office should be closed when it rains.

    Let's agree that the office should be closed when it rains

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    Let's be work friends since we're pretty much the only black people here.

    Let's be work friends since we're pretty much the only black people here

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    Sorry I didn't think your meeting was important enough to attend.

    Sorry I didn't think your meeting was important enough to attend

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    Sorry your post-vacation workload has completely negated all the benefits of your vacation.

    Sorry your post-vacation workload has completely negated all the benefits of your vacation

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    I try to avoid workplace romances by only flirting with gay guys.

    I try to avoid workplace romances by only flirting with gay guys

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    Let's start marketing our company on Pinterest before Pinterest is ruined by marketing.

    Let's start marketing our company on Pinterest before Pinterest is ruined by marketing

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    Sorry you don't understand how important I am.

    Sorry you don't understand how important I am

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    My biggest fear about an earthquake evacuation is being stuck making chitchat with coworkers.

    My biggest fear about an earthquake evacuation is being stuck making chitchat with coworkers

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    We're concerned your job is interfering with your drinking.

    We're concerned your job is interfering with your drinking

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    My job is to annoy you.

    My job is to annoy you

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    I told you I booked this conference room.

    I told you I booked this conference room

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    What your stagnant career could use is a glaringly obvious admission of homosexuality.

    What your stagnant career could use is a glaringly obvious admission of homosexuality

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