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    Sometimes it takes me more than eight hours to get nothing done.

    Sometimes it takes me more than eight hours to get nothing done.

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    I just had a near-work experience.

    I just had a near-work experience.

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    Sometimes I get so bored at work that I actually think about doing some work.

    Sometimes I get so bored at work that I actually think about doing some work.

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    We feel that your job performance would improve greatly if you just quit doing your job.

    We feel that your job performance would improve greatly if you just quit doing your job.

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    I wish you were as productive as your rectum is.

    I wish you were as productive as your rectum is.

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    I'm having the kind of day at work where I fear that I am a flight risk.

    I'm having the kind of day at work where I fear that I am a flight risk.

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    We have nothing but the highest disregard for all of your hard work.

    We have nothing but the highest disregard for all of your hard work.

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    It takes twice as long for me to not get anything done on Monday as it does the rest of the week.

    It takes twice as long for me to not get anything done on Monday as it does the rest of the week.

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    Please let me know if that work I spent sleepless nights on was good enough for you to take credit for.

    Please let me know if that work I spent sleepless nights on was good enough for you to take credit for.

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    I didn't think it was possible to start out at the bottom and work your way down.

    I didn't think it was possible to start out at the bottom and work your way down.

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    Sorry that the worst day of the rest of your life is every Monday.

    Sorry that the worst day of the rest of your life is every Monday.

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    I'm sorry my recent absence from work caused you to have to do your own work.

    I'm sorry my recent absence from work caused you to have to do your own work.

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    Sorry you failed your employee drug test because of the drugs you take so you can tolerate other employees.

    Sorry you failed your employee drug test because of the drugs you take so you can tolerate other employees.

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    I'm so excited to finally get the job I'll be complaining about in a few weeks.

    I'm so excited to finally get the job I'll be complaining about in a few weeks.

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    Money doesn't solve problems, but it could solve my money problem.

    Money doesn't solve problems, but it could solve my money problem.

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    They say if you love your job you never work a day in your life but I think I'll play it safe and just never work a day in my life.

    They say if you love your job you never work a day in your life but I think I'll play it safe and just never work a day in my life.

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    I've never remotely suspected my coworkers of taking anything that would enhance their performance.

    I've never remotely suspected my coworkers of taking anything that would enhance their performance.

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    I wish it was nationally televised every time I fixed my boss's mistakes.

    I wish it was nationally televised every time I fixed my boss's mistakes.

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    Look, we're basically on earth to shit and fuck. So unless your job's to help people shit or fuck, it's not that important, so relax.

    Look, we're basically on earth to shit and fuck. So unless your job's to help people shit or fuck, it's not that important, so relax.

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    Special Messages: We have a connection (Max Silvestri).

    Special Messages: We have a connection (Max Silvestri)

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