I'd pretend to pay much more than $2 million to keep our interoffice romance under wraps
My job loss has provided me with ample time to micromanage your life
Let's boost office morale by going out to drink and complain about office morale
I'd appreciate you not complaining to me about your job until I have a job to complain about
I'm shocked and offended that your completely free online service isn't perfectly maintained
[Video Card] Performance review (Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter)
I can't help but think of how my being laid off will affect my favorite strippers
I'd happily pass along your resume if I hadn't decimated my company-wide credibility
Appearing busy to avoid being laid off has become more exhausting than actually working
Interning here has helped me realize I want to study anything that will keep me from working here
I or the company decided it's time for me to leave
Let's decide where we're going for an inedible lunch
My job doesn't feel safe
Let me show you the inhumane cubicle space you'll be inhabiting for ten hours a day
My job is to annoy you