Oct. 7th, 2011
Sorry A-Rod caused you even more suffering than Yom Kippur does.
Oct. 7th, 2011
As a tribute to Steve Jobs, I'm not turning off my iPhone during Yom Kippur services this year.
Oct. 3rd, 2011
Don't forget to eat like Chris Christie before your Yom Kippur fast begins.
Sep. 16th, 2010
I can't wait to break the Yom Kippur fast I'm not keeping.
Sep. 16th, 2010
I think you should atone for knowing more about Jersey Shore than Yom Kippur.
Sep. 15th, 2010
I'd rather endure Yom Kippur services than M. Night Shyamalan's new movie.
Sep. 15th, 2010
I'd like to atone for all the obnoxious ecards I've sent you this year.
Sep. 14th, 2010
I'm hungry enough to eat a meat dress.
Sep. 14th, 2010
Fashion Week has reminded me I won't be the only one starving myself on Yom Kippur.
Aug. 31st, 2008
Fasting for Yom Kippur is pretty much the only time I wish I was eating Matzah on Passover.
Sep. 24th, 2009
This Yom Kippur, let's be grateful for a year of being too broke to indulge in our usual laundry list of appalling sins.
Sep. 21st, 2009
It seems unfair I need to spend as much time atoning as a deviant like you.
Sep. 20th, 2009
Remember to atone for not being with your family on the day of atonement.
Sep. 30th, 2008
Yom Kippur is the holiday where Jewish guilt is formally imposed.
Sep. 30th, 2008
Let's embrace our Jewish faith by sleeping until 11:00 a.m. so we can feel slightly hungry for a shorter timespan.
Sep. 29th, 2008
I used to fast on Yom Kippur until I realized nothing would happen if I didn't.
Sep. 28th, 2008
Let's get in some more sinning before the start of Yom Kippur.
Sep. 28th, 2008
I can't help but wonder what real Jews are doing today.
Sep. 28th, 2008
Don't hesitate to contact me if you can't remember the things you should be atoning for.
Sep. 28th, 2008
You make even a tiny religious cap look sexy.