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    I think you should atone for knowing more about Jersey Shore than Yom Kippur.

    I think you should atone for knowing more about Jersey Shore than Yom Kippur

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    Fashion Week has reminded me I won't be the only one starving myself on Yom Kippur.

    Fashion Week has reminded me I won't be the only one starving myself on Yom Kippur

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    Tomorrow I will atone for barely being a Jew all year.

    Tomorrow I will atone for barely being a Jew all year

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    I can't help but wonder what real Jews are doing today.

    I can't help but wonder what real Jews are doing today

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    On the holiest day of the year, I will complain about having to go to synagogue.

    On the holiest day of the year, I will complain about having to go to synagogue

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    I'm hungry enough to eat a meat dress.

    I'm hungry enough to eat a meat dress

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    Fasting for Yom Kippur is pretty much the only time I wish I was eating Matzah on Passover.

    Fasting for Yom Kippur is pretty much the only time I wish I was eating Matzah on Passover.

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