"If I back away very, very slowly, she probably won't even notice I've gone."
Matzo the dog has managed to come up with a pretty decent coping method for those terrible moments when he just knows that a good yelling-at is on its way. It's easy: you just slowly, oh so slowly, scoot yourself backwards until your entire body has disappeared behind a piece of furniture or has slipped into another room. If they can't see you, then they can't yell at you! It's an absolutely flawless plan.
In fact, I'll probably be trying it later on today when my wife sees what I accidentally did to the bathroom wall with the power drill.