"You think this human contraption can stop me?! Hahahaha!"
I said it before. Don't pretend like I didn't say it before! I warned you, and I warned you, but nobody listened. And now I'm afraid it's too late. The dogs have figured out how to open our baby gates:
Look, we've already seen dogs opening each other's crates, unlocking their friends' kennel doors and unlatching windows to the outside world. But the baby gate was supposed to be the pinnacle of anti-dog technology, and this Great Dane named Bambi decodes its secrets in about 45 seconds.
None of our couches are safe, people! Nor our beds, nor our recliners, nor our fancy carpets in that one room we keep pristine for entertaining people we don't like that much! The world will be sprinkled generously with a pervasive layer of wiry dog hair. No piece of dropped food will go uncovered by the sheddings of our canine oppressors.
The future is here!
(by Dennis DiClaudio)