Living fast as slowly as possible.

The best way to beat the hare. (via reddit)

When redditor Consent_van's girlfriend went out of town, all she told him to do was watch her tortoise and "keep him out of trouble." Naturally, he decided to treat the little reptile to a bachelor's weekend he would remember for the rest of his long life.

Getting a beak full of the good stuff. (via reddit)

"Are there any without their shells on?" (via reddit)