Let's play a game called "fists or spears?" Just put your hands in front of him to play.

Let's get this out of the way: if "jumbo shrimp" is an oxymoron, this thing is an oxy-dumbest-person-on-the-planet. This gargantuan crustacean was caught Florida, a.k.a. America's Australia, which attracts almost as many crazy creatures as crazy people. Now, before we go any further, I really need you to know why this beast is so terrifying: scientists believe it's a mantis shrimp, which are some of the most vicious little shelled creatures on the seafloor. Here's a short and amusing clip that should explain it (I've queued it up to the part about how killer they are):

Sources: Florida Wildlife Conservation Commission | Deadspin