"Do not violate my airspace, human. This is my circle all the way up to the sky."
Acquiring a cat is easy, getting it to do literally anything besides exist and eat is difficult. This week, however, a powerful new spell was revealed to the Internet that can be used to control these mercurial feline beings inhabiting our homes: the cat circle. This all-powerful enchantment was first revealed by the blogger guremike, after his cat (a rare male calico) accidentally cast it on himself using a looped electrical wire. Then, as you can see from the photo at top, guremike learned how to recreate the spell himself using simple tape.
"Did you know that there was a whole other room over here inside this wire? It's mine."
The formula for the spell is as simple as it is powerful: form a circle on the floor (tape is recommended, but pretty much anything works) and wait. Eventually your cat will enter it. The cat will then be trapped by the magic of the circle, giving you extended, blissful periods of not having to worry whether your cat is knocking stuff off high shelves.
A belt can give a cat that special "I'm sitting in a container" feeling they love.
(via redditor MrWood94)
This phenomenon has blown up so quickly that it already has its own subreddit, r/catcircles, with all the best hits of the genre and advice for newbies.
"Human, fetch me a portable DVD player and a copy of the Hudsucker Proxy. Now!"
(via redditor RainbowDildo)
One piece of advice? Make enough circles for your cats.
This is clearly the only part of the rug worth even considering sitting upon.
(via redditor supaplex)
The peace is fragile, held together merely by tape. (via redditor boogab)
It even has its own genre-breaking in jokes. Here's "Another Kind Of Cat Circle"
These cats are already so over this meme. (via redditor jaycrew)
Why does this work? Well, that's a good question, but basically I think it harnesses cats innate dickishness and uses it against them. It doesn't appear to be the circle shape, per se.
That dog's all like "I knew the cat was in the Illuminati!" (via redditor Shuleek)
If a cat sees a new space or object that did not exist before, it will sit on it and claim it as their own, especially if they think it is something you created or belongs to you.
Note: Using "Magic" cards will not make the spell more magical. A diet might.
(via redditor solarbuttburn)
Combine this with cats' irresistible urge to see if they can fits in a space like a box and then sits in it, and you have a handy little loophole in the laws of cat physics that allows you to trap them at will.
"It is not a giant kingdom, but it is mine. So is the rest of the house, just FYI."
(via redditor undeservinghonesty)
For the record, some owners tested the circle against the traditional box, and the old method still holds up.
If I fits, I sits...for science! (via redditor nxnxnx)
Cats, like other beings that dwell on the Internet, often get stuck in 90s kitsch nostalgia.
(via redditor wtfunks)
The Internet: still full of new ideas.
(by Johnny McNulty)