"Hello. Would you like to hold me gently until the void envelops us all?"
This is Tucker the cat, who currently lives at Purrfect Pals Cat Shelter in Washington State after her previous owners could no longer take care of her. Here's the thing about Tucker the cat: she looks very sad. This is because Tucker the cat has some genetic abnormalities that makes her face droop like a botched Botox patient.
"I am a clown who cries on the outside, but inside I laugh at a joke no one else can get."
But wait, there's more sadness—these abnormalities also mean her joints never formed properly, and she needs stairs and other accommodations to get around the house. D'awww.
"Sorry, I was just thinking about the last episode of M*A*S*H." (via PurrfectPals.org)
To top it all off, Tucker has a skin condition that makes her skin very thin, dry, and prone to irritation and cracking, so she needs to be handle gently, and to wear a t-shirt at all times. Awwww jeez Tucker. You need a very gentle hug.
"I'm so happy right now! Being cuddled is my jam!" (via PurrfectPals.org)
All that said, Tucker is still a sweet kitty. According to Purrfect Paws, "Tucker enjoys sitting on laps and playing with string toys! She also loves to be pet under the chin and behind the ears and is great with children!" You heard it, folks. You have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make the saddest cat on the planet happy.
(by Johnny McNulty)