"This just in... nothing of any real importance is going on in Monroe, Connecticut."
A 4-year-old boy was reportedly banned from a Connecticut doughnut shop after asking a female customer if she "had a baby in her belly." Turns out she wasn't pregnant, she was just (coincidentally!) standing in line to buy doughnuts (no judgments!).
Rebecca Denham told WFSB she immediately apologized for her son's embarrassing question, and said the woman wasn't even upset. The owners of the shop are the ones who had a problem with it, because the following morning they reportedly told the mother to hit the road, and that she and her son were no longer welcome at the store.
No shirt, no class, no service.
According to Denham, "[the owner] said, 'he's not allowed in here,' and I looked around, and said, 'him?' and she said 'yeah, he's rude'." The owner has a point, but he's also four. Which makes it seem like there's more to this story than what's being reported. Was the kid carrying a gun? Is this all part of a larger plan by the mother to cash in on a viral pity party, like the family who lied about their daughter being kicked out of KFC?
This story is a cream-filled riddle wrapped in a chocolate-covered enigma.
The craziest part of the entire story is that a television news program broadcasting from the United States in 2014 starts out with an anchor saying, "We begin tonight with story you'll see only on Channel 3," before tossing to an investigative piece about a boy being banned from a doughnut shop.
WFSB contacted the owners of the Doughnut Inn, but they declined to comment. Probably because they know that stories like these go viral quicker than a shot of Jennifer Lawrence's side boob.
More on this story as it develops. Which is to say, when it's revealed that the whole thing is a hoax, and we're all exposed once again as a gullible simps with a sweet tooth for sob stories.
(by Jonathan Corbett)