People shared the 'toys' they played with growing up that were definitely not toys.

People shared the 'toys' they played with growing up that were definitely not toys.
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When you were a kid, anything was a toy. A simple box. An empty toilet roll. A dildo, found under mom and dad's bed that instantly became your best friend forever.

Compared to some of these nostalgic tales from AskReddit, playing with a giant dildo seems downright reasonable. Just keep your kid away from PVC pipes.

1. This_reasonable_guy probably grew up to be a reasonable badass.

We used to live next to a farm and me and my brother would always be playing with farm machinery and tools. This one time my mum found my brother swinging an axe around his head laughing while I ducked underneath it. Another time the farmer found me and my brother throwing rocks at his combine harvester. He asked "what you doing?" We told him we wanted to know if it was powerful enough to mash up rocks. He laughed and said it's also powerful enough to mash up little boys.

People shared the 'toys' they played with growing up that were definitely not toys.
Or he grew up to be crazy psycho!

2. Lastal kicks off the first of many stories about kids turning strange natural resources into hard currency.

At my primary school there were palm trees on the grounds, and they dropped tiny little oval coconuts about half the size of a golf ball that we called Monkey nuts. Sometimes they were used as a form of currency among us, but most of the time we'd just throw them at each other really hard, often needing to go to the nurse afterwards because of the sharp spike that was on one end.

All our pockets were crammed full with the damn things, the teachers banned us from picking them up, but all that did was drive the Monkey nut trade deeper into secrecy.

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People shared the 'toys' they played with growing up that were definitely not toys.
"All that did was drive the Monkey nut trade deeper into secrecy."

3. This story from adeadgirl is probably the best reason not to raise kids in Australia.

At my primary school we collected gum nuts as currency and large sticks. Gum nuts could be used to purchase large sticks from other kids. Large sticks could be used to build or defend a base. My school was about 70% Aussie bush with plenty of huge trees and really great spots to build bases. Some spots were better than others, dryer ground, better sitting logs, less sun. Bases were pretty much just shitty tree/cubby houses with places to hoard gum nuts and good sticks. There was a short period of time where kids started finding and collecting those shitty makeshift bongs made of a Gatorade bottle and a short piece of hose. They weren't worth much and we had no idea what they were but if you had a small collection going it was impressive because they were considerably rare (ie. You might only find 3 bongs in the school grounds each week). Dam I miss my childhood.

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4. Drollesh further demonstrates how violent kids get. At least they don't realize a pipe is, itself, a weapon.

PVC pipes ...

A T-junction and two short pipes were pistols:

═══ ╦
.......║

Two T-junctions and more short pipes were smgs/rifles:

═══ ╦ ═════ ╦
.......║............║

People shared the 'toys' they played with growing up that were definitely not toys.
It's a universal delight.

5. SuperFreshness had a toy, but a very adult toy.

When I was a kid (around 6 or 7), I went through my dads cabinet and found this weird looking whistle thing. It looked like something fun to play with, so naturally I grabbed it asked dad what it was. He said it was a broken dog whistle and that I was not to play with it. I had to put it back in it's drawer "immediately".

Fast forward a couple of days later, my parents go out for an hour or so and I'm home alone. All I could think about was getting dads dog whistle to work. I wanted to be the pied piper of dogs or something. So I sneak into his room and find the dog whistle, however we had a problem. We didn't have a dog. Our next door neighbours had a huge Dalmatian though. So I put the whistle in my pocket, jump the fence and spend like 20 minutes chasing this dog around my neighbours back yard. Turns out dad was telling the truth and the dog whistle was broken, so I went home disappointed and returned the dog whistle to it's drawer.

12 years later we moved interstate and I'm helping dad unbox stuff after the move. Needless to say we get to his belongings and I find the infamous broken dog whistle. It so turns out that it wasn't a dog whistle at all. He tells me that it was his brothers hash pipe which he kept after his death (as a memory). I told him the story of chasing the neighbours dog with it for 20 minutes. We both couldn't stop laughing over the thought of my neighbours watching some 6 year old kid running through their back yard, chasing their dog with a hash pipe hanging out of his mouth. Good times.

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6. Playing god is a thrilling game for a young Jeffrey Dahmer, or a redditor named CourageOfOthers.

Insects. I used to build Lego mazes for woodlice, paint them in racing colours, then release them to see who won. Often, losers would be fed to spiders.

I promise I'm not a serial killer...

People shared the 'toys' they played with growing up that were definitely not toys.
Spiderman: also not a serial killer.

7. At least fletchindubai's animals were already deceased by the time they became his entertainment.

I could amuse myself for hours poking a dead mole with a bamboo cane.

Simpler times.

8. Did the2belo grow up to become a TMZ reporter?

A tape recorder. I would always pester my mother to buy me blank cassettes when I was around 9 or 10, and I'd fill them up with incomprehensible screeching and personal memes that would never cease to crack me the hell up every time I played them back. Then I'd go terrorize other family members by chasing them around recording them.

I still have two tapes that exist to this day. I'm 45. They are my most prized possessions.

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People shared the 'toys' they played with growing up that were definitely not toys.
Nothing better than a tape full of "incomprehensible screeching."

9. Littleglobe got ahold of a couple of mafia weapons and had endless fun.

Cinder blocks. I used to use them as giant legos and make "houses" out of them for hot wheels and action figures. I would also smash them with golf clubs

10. TheMoonKitten is appropriately named if they'd only drop the "moon."

Well, technically they were toys, just not for...Humans.

Cat toys. I collected cat toys. I especially liked the ones where you'd pull the tail, and they'd scoot/vibrate across the floor. Not in a weird way, though. I thought they were cute lol.

my favorite one was named Cupcake

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People shared the 'toys' they played with growing up that were definitely not toys.
Nothing weird about collecting cat toys, if you're a cat.

11. The dark truth is Isaac_256 did know.

When I was younger, around 10 or so. My niece was born and she would get dropped off at my house so my mom would baby sit.

Near the bag of toys was a bag that carried the diapers and stuff. Inside, I found a suction kind of 'toy'. Me being the kid that would mess around with things that were not mine, I began playing with it, using it as a water squirter. I eventually began using it to suck up water and then squirt it in my mouth.

One day, my twin brother sees me squirting water into my mouth using that suction 'toy' and tells me, "You DO know thats for the baby's boogers right?"

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