Whether you loved summer camp or hated summer camp, you probably went through the ritual of writing a letter to your parents. Depending on your experiences, the point was to either guilt your folks into coming to pick you up, or to brag about how much fun you were having without their stupid faces around. (But really, the point was to occupy the campers long enough for the counselors to have a cigarette break.) Here are some real letters real kids sent home from camp that their parents laughed at and then put up on the Internet.
1. You gotta do what you gotta do.
I was forced to write this to eat.
2. Welcome to Camp Minimalist.
Hi mommy and daddy
I am at camp
there is my letter
3. Jim doesn’t like camp. (P.S. Jim doesn’t like camp.)
Dear Mom, Dad
I am not happy. I hate this place I want to go home. I don't want to waste your money But I want to go home I hate this place.
P.S. Take me home
4. Dear Dad, you’re a liar and not as good as Brian.
Dear Mom and Dad
On the campout on Wednesday it rained all night. It was terrible! I fell in the mud and mud got all over my legs. How come you didn't come and get me? When you got my letters you sort of ignored the sentences that said how sad I was. I think it's mean that you didn't come and get me when I told you to. And daddy you never when to sleepaway camp. In a letter you wrote me you wrote all about you going to sleepaway camp. I'm so clumsy here! Brian mailed me a game he made himself. I wrote him back. Don't forget to pick me up.
5. This kid’s got a future in copywriting.
Dear Mom and Dad,
Thank you immensly for my gratifying Camp Ernst Expirience!
I had a lot of fun!
I especially enjoyed a thrilling ride known as the Giant Swing!
I struggled a little bit at first falling asleep in an almost foreign environment, but then I relaxed.
A mass conflict was probably my nosebleed… I became friendly with the nurse because I was in her office for an hour and a half. Swimming took place brazenly because we swam everyday for literally hours! Thank you for working your butts off for me!
6. Glad to hear your p-nus is better.
Day 5 of camp is alot better. The rash on my P-nus is gone, and now I can run. My friends hate when I say eggs so I'm trying to stop saying it.
7. Re-younited and it feels so good.
Only 4 day till we are younited againe! I’m also having a good time.
8. Everything is lies.
I am only smiling in the pictures so you think I am having tons of fun…But I’m not.
9. Unclear how many of those pukings were on the rock wall.
Camp Thunderbird was very fun, even though I puked 7 times. I enjoyed Archery & Rock climbing. Over all I enjoyed it thourely.
10. Torcher. Straight torcher.
11. Speaking to a parent’s base concern (money).
Dear mom and dad,
Hate! I hate this camp
Take back you money and send me home!
12. Hose down this little monster a few times when he gets home.
Dear Mom and Dad, Good you packt extra underwear, since I had diyareeya. It got on my shoes but not my pillow. I’m having fun at camp and learning stuff. I rock at winserfing and kayaking. I’ve ate more push-pops than anyone. I’ve ate 23 since Monday. Still two days left. 37 is the rekerd and I can beat it. Sweet! I went horseback riding and the horse in front of me took 3 huge dumps. Smoke came off the poop. It was awesome. I used my toothbrush to dig for worms. Don’t freek out the guy in the bottom bunk lets me use his. It’s safe. I don’t know his name but he can burp the alphabet like me. A kid named Zack can burp the alphabet backwords. I’m practicing that. We put oatmeal in the counsillor’s baseball hat. It was pretty funny. Oatmeal is bad Mom. Even with raisins. I shot a riffle. I’m a good aimer. Can we get one when I get home?
Did you know you can light farts on fire? I’ll show you on Satterday.
PS Your spaketti is way better.
PSS Tell my brothers to have lots of farts for Satterday.
13. You’re guaranteed to make great memories at Camp Dead Deer Baby in a Jar.
You probably will get this after I get home, but here’s what’s happening. I lost my camera, I saw a dead baby deer in a jar, and it’s raining out.
14. Mom and Dad will be right there.
Hi Mom and Dad
So far, camp has been good! One of my new friends is [ ] from Florida. We both like food and sports. Mornings here start at 8 a.m. and today after breakfast, the first thing I did was poop. At night, just before “lights out” we touch each other.
Bye for now,
PS Send money and candy!