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15 of the funniest white lies parents have told their very gullible kids.

15 of the funniest white lies parents have told their very gullible kids.


Kids are inquisitive by nature, which can make parenting even more difficult than it already is (and from what I hear, it's pretty dang difficult). But one good thing parents have on their side is the ol' "white lie." Children are too gullible to know any better when they're being lied to—they have no critical thinking skills and they can't yet use Google. Sometimes the lies are for the kids' own safety, but sometimes they're just parents having a laugh at their kids' expense, because why not?

Journalist and BBC presenter Dan Walker tweeted on Monday, "Apparently 9 out of 10 parents say 'white lies' are the secret to a happy life. What are the fibs you've told your children? #PetHeaven."

I don't know why Walker included the hashtag "PetHeaven," because everyone knows that Pet Heaven is real, and it's where pets go when they finally get tired of living on that big farm they went to.

Anyway, Twitter was more than happy to respond with some hilarious "white lies." People on Reddit discussed the same thing, so here are some of their funniest answers, too.

1. Kellianne Conway still believes this.

2. Brian_is_a_tit's friend's parents were very smart.

My flatmate grew up on a farm and was told by her parents that their TV only worked when it rained. She believed this for far, far too long...

3. CaptainRipp's parents are lucky they didn't have a budding entomologist on their hands.

"Don't touch that. It'll turn into spiders."

4. All right, this is just cold.

5. The cops came at the perfect time for SquiddyTheMouse.

I told one to my nieces. I told them that they had to hold an adults hand when they were crossing the road or else the police will come and arrest them and they'd be put in jail.

The oldest one then tried to run across the road by herself, but just as the got to the edge of the road, a cop car came around the corner and she ran back to me crying and saying she'd never do it again and begged me not to let them take her to jail.

6. Ah, kids—so gullible.

7. LedZacclin's ex-girlfriend must have been confused on so many levels.

When my ex-girlfriend was a kid, she had misbehaved and her dad told her he was, "only going to buy her one boob when she grew up."

8. Daddy's lie was not particularly helpful for mummy.

9. Miabaldo's sister's kids hadn't learned about the scientific method yet.

My sister. . . has her kids convinced that when they lie their tongues turn purple.. Knows they're lying when they try to hide their tongue while talking.

10. Espressoempress' sister is lucky her kids weren't into vampires. Or members of PETA.

"That's not juice, it's camels blood" my sisters attempt at averting her kids attention from the expensive pomegranate juice.

11. We all know what was really going on when SoNubject overheard these 'white lies'—one tortoise was simply trying to stand on top of the other, so they could put on a trenchcoat, pass as a human, and get into movies.

In front of the zoo enclosure full of ever-randy Galapagos Tortoises:

"He's giving her a backrub."

"Oh, they're trying to play leapfrog."

"He wants a piggyback ride!"

"The fish are more interesting, we should go look at the fish now.

12. Hey, Trevor loves ducks, right?

13. Anthem12891 was the victim of some classic dad humor.

The rumble strips on the highway are for the blind drivers. Took me seven years to realize. Well played, Dad.

14. I wanna party with Magoonie's stepdad.

When I was a kid, around 5/6, I was hanging out with my stepfather (who would in every aspect that matters be my real father) outside a store waiting for my mom. I saw a soda machine and asked if I could have a soda. His reply was, "do you have a chicken bone?"

He went on to tell me I could get soda out of the car radio if I had a chicken bone and did the chicken bone dance around the car. He then proceeded to show me the moves of the chicken bone dance. When my mom came out of the store I asked her if I could get a chicken bone. The WTF look on her face was great.

15. Pillowcurtain's grandma knew how to have a good time.

My grandma told us that smelling each others farts would make us stronger. Worst Christmas ever for us, funniest Christmas for her.

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