Potty training is tough business. While I've personally never potty trained any human, I distinctly recall feeling terror at the thought of pooping on this weird box that was definitely going to suck me up and deliver me to monsters. These fears are the least messy part of what parents contend with when potty training. Whether you're seeking support while going through the process of potty training a kid or want to feel better about yourself because you know how to use a toilet, here are some stories and photos featuring kids—and parents—who struggle with the potty.
1. If you look close enough, a poop is always lurking somewhere during potty training.
2. At least Iamnotawriter's kid was interested in the potty.
As a parent, I deal with a lot of poop. I have one son who has a dairy allergy that has caused him to poop almost every consistency imaginable. My other son seems to be constantly constipated. This has created the necessity of feeding him prune juice and pears (which creates a terribly sweet-smelling, sticky poo) if I don't want him struggling to poop out little rabbit pellets. I've had mornings where I've changed more than 10 poopy diapers before 10 am. Yet none of my previous experiences can compare to my morning.
This morning the boys were playing together as I stood at their door. My toddler son was bottomless to encourage potty-training (if he doesn't have a diaper to go in, he'll go to the potty). All of a sudden, I heard the familiar cry of, "uh, uh, poop on potty!" from my two-year-old.
Looking up I respond with an encouraging, "Okay, let's go poop on the potty!"
I was greeted with an additional, distressed call of, "Oh! I pooped." My son, crying as he waddle-ran towards me, was pooping as he went in his terrible, I-accidentally-ate-dairy consistency. Not only was he oozing something close to the consistency of hummus, but he was stepping in it to tread it further into a Morse-code, SOS trail across the room.
I grabbed him and rushed him to the bathtub. As I pulled off his shirt, I heard a happy squeak from my 11-month-old and was struck the sinking realization that he was still in the room with a skid-mark across it. I rushed into the room to find the baby sitting in a smeared dash of poo, eating it by the tiny, little fistful.
I scooped him up and hurried him to the bathtub, tearing off his clothes as I went. As I arrived at the tub, I unsnapped his diaper and a patty of sticky-sweet baby poo unfolded out of it onto my shirt, then slowly flip-flopped down my front in a cruel, slinky meets syrup-covered pancake fashion.
I quickly removed a couple layers to clear myself up and toss the poo patty into the toilet, then turned my attention to the boys. I looked up to see that my 11-month old had finger-painted his way across the tub, and my two-year-old was calling out "No! 'pit it out! Don't eat the poop, baby!" as his brother resumed eating it.
Over the next hour I rinsed, soaked, and soaped up both boys, including a good rinsing of the baby's mouth (he put up a good fight though), then did my best with the carpet in the boys' room, and started 2 loads of laundry.
I now eagerly await my husband coming home so I can have my turn for a long the shower, possibly followed by a bath and another shower.
Tldr: My toddler pooped on the floor and my baby ate it.
3. This little kid's potty vibes are that of a wealth middle-aged man on the toilet.
4. Poor PostsFirstThought lost a bean bag to their baby brother.
So this must have been close to a decade ago when my little brother was a toddler because he was going through that in-between phase with potty training. The one where he's stopped wearing diapers but sometimes still goes in his pants.
He was in the shower and was running down the hall to get dressed. Right before this I had gone into the restroom to do my business and since the TV was on and the door was open I guess he decided to wander into my room. When I got out of the bathroom I was greeted by a less than pleasant sight. Apparently he had had to go while watching TV and since I was already in the restroom he had pooped on the carpet in front of my TV. Also, this wasn't a small poop, no, this was a pile of poop that could clog your average low flush toilet. Then to add to that, the towel he had been wearing formed in a nice crescent around the pile as if highlighting it for all to see. I told my parents and they had me help them clean it up, but sadly we had to throw away my bean bag cube because -- he had either rolled it into the poo or moved it -- it was covered all over in poop stains.
TL;DR Left door open, little brother pooped on my carpet.
5. phoebebartlett_'s child likes to use a different toilet from everyone else.
6. ajclay's kid got creative.
7. thebaylocust learned that potty training in public can be tricky.
8. jcmcna0733's 10-year-old developed a great potty training prize for a younger sibling.
9. thecrapbatman's kid isn't the one who had potty trouble.
Throwaway account for shame... Let me preface this story with the fact that we are currently potty training my preschool daughter. She almost has it down, but usually requires either my husband or myself to stand by the door to watch. This week, we have been working so hard to break her of the habit, and for the past few days has been going by herself.
My periods are usually pretty heavy. I realized I had waited too long to take out a tampon when I went to pee, and it slid out in all of its bloody glory straight into the toilet. My dad constantly lectured me growing up about making sure I never flush any feminine hygiene products into the toilet, so naturally, I panicked and decided to reach in to get it. My hand clenched down on the bloody tampon, and I quickly pulled it out of the murky water. Only it wasn't a tampon. It was a big ol' unflushed preschooler turd log. In my haste to grab the tampon, I had put a master grip on that turd, and it was squishing through my fingers. Super grossed out, I quickly chucked what I could of the turd back into the toilet only to realize I still hadn't retrieved the tampon. In what had to be the least fun game of fishing, I re-thrusted my hand back into the toilet, and splashed around haphazardly looking for the hidden string. After an eternity, I triumphantly grabbed the tampon string, only to realize that I was triumphantly grabbing a tampon string. TLDR: My hands will never be clean again Edit: Front page?! Holy crap...
10. kopo27's friend's daughter isn't afraid of the toilet, just the cold.
11. Dvaone terrified his child.
12. Amcstar's daughter got her head stuck in the toilet seat for mysterious reasons.
13. Here's an action shot of a kid's head stuck in a toilet seat, from misscasanova.
For the parents and guardians hardened by the experience of potty training, here are some tweets that'll make you chuckle because you've been there. Maybe if you're still there, you'll cry with relief because you're not the only one dreaming of alcohol.
Kids are so expensive because of all the booze you need for yourself.