1. The Artist
A passion for aesthetics and a deep hatred of any clean, blank space are what drive The Artist. Before you can teach them that the world is their metaphorical canvas, they'll learn that the world is their literal canvas. Turn your back for one second and you'll have your own personal disasterpiece.
2. The Nudist
Remember that Ray Stevens song The Streak? (If so: Jesus, you're old.) Anyway, even though it takes about half a day to get the average child fully dressed, The Nudist can wriggle out of his Sunday's best before you can say "Don't play with that or God will strike you blind!"
3. The Glutton
Like everyone from Ocean's 11 rolled into a single tiny person, The Glutton can liberate any delicious treat from its hiding place and smuggle it away inside their belly. Fortunately they often leave a literal trail of breadcrumbs, foiling their own getaway.
4. The Beautician
Part clown, part drag queen, The Beautician is a crude reflection of our generation's ideals of beauty. She's too busy holding a mirror up to society to hold a mirror up for herself and if you're not supervising her, you'll be left pondering the question "Is that what she thinks mommy looks like?"
5. The Superhero
"With great power comes great irresponsibility" is the creed of The Superhero. Just like real cartoon and comic book stars, The Superhero springs into action with no regard for the massive property damage they might cause. If left to their own devices, these kids will make you want to take a moonlit stroll down Crime Alley.
6. The Kid Who Always Gets Their Head Stuck In Things
Ever since the dawn of man, humans have sought to answer that burning question: "Can I get my head in there?" Sure, some may first ask, "Can I get my head back out of there?" but those are the losers. The second-guessers. The cowards. I guarantee you that at some point, every great genius and entrepreneur from Albert Einstein to Steve Jobs has had their greased-up head yanked out of an Ovaltine tin or something. It's the price of progress.