•  

    It takes more than one date to truly know if someone is the right person for you to settle for.

    It takes more than one date to truly know if someone is the right person for you to settle for.

  •  

    You look really good for someone who eats horribly, doesn't exercise, and drinks entirely too much.

    You look really good for someone who eats horribly, doesn't exercise, and drinks entirely too much.

  •  

    Your weight loss is noticeable without you bringing it up first.

    Your weight loss is noticeable without you bringing it up first.

  •  

    I'm half impressed you ran a half marathon.

    I'm half impressed you ran a half marathon.

  •  

    I wish CrossFit got your personality in shape as well.

    I wish CrossFit got your personality in shape as well.

  •  

    There's a person or three cats out there for everyone.

    There's a person or three cats out there for everyone.

  •  

    Let’s continue our conversation once your medication kicks in.

    Let’s continue our conversation once your medication kicks in.

  •  

    You seem remarkably sane for an Internet commenter.

    You seem remarkably sane for an Internet commenter.

  •  

    Way to finally cut down on your smoking due to arctic outdoor temperatures.

    Way to finally cut down on your smoking due to arctic outdoor temperatures.

  •  

    Best of luck on whatever diet you're trying until the next time you get drunk.

    Best of luck on whatever diet you're trying until the next time you get drunk.

  •  

    Just taking life one antidepressant at a time.

    Just taking life one antidepressant at a time.

  •  

    Best of luck on your weight becoming as low as your self-esteem.

    Best of luck on your weight becoming as low as your self-esteem.

  •  

    May you someday find someone to love you as much as your selfies indicate you love yourself.

    May you someday find someone to love you as much as your selfies indicate you love yourself.

  •  

    You're the reason nobody likes you.

    You're the reason nobody likes you.

  •  

    Live each day like you have a significantly better health insurance plan.

    Live each day like you have a significantly better health insurance plan.

  •  

    Good luck deciding which color iPhone best matches your desperate need for attention.

    Good luck deciding which color iPhone best matches your desperate need for attention.

  •  

    Your iPhone 5 will be the perfect device to play with while you're waiting in line for the iPhone 5S.

    Your iPhone 5 will be the perfect device to play with while you're waiting in line for the iPhone 5S.

  •  

    I bet you'd be surprised at how often people don't think about you.

    I bet you'd be surprised at how often people don't think about you.

  •  

    Hope your relaxing two-week vacation helps offset your debilitating 50-week onslaught of personal and professional angst, confusion, and quiet despair.

    Hope your relaxing two-week vacation helps offset your debilitating 50-week onslaught of personal and professional angst, confusion, and quiet despair.

  •  

    One day you'll learn that I never learn.

    One day you'll learn that I never learn.

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