Forgotten 1700s terms for penises, vaginas, boobs, and balls that'll get your nutmegs in a twist.

Forgotten 1700s terms for penises, vaginas, boobs, and balls that'll get your nutmegs in a twist.
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Genitals! Humans have them. What’s more, we've always had them, even though polite society and your parents often like to pretend they don't exist. Not only that, but humans have always been creative at naming their sex bits, as proven by 1788's A Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, a collection of English slang terms from as far back as the 1600s. (You can check out a list of 42 insults from that same book here, you goosecap.) So keep your crinkum crankums and pegos in your pants, ladies and gentlemen, and read on to learn some dirty words for your dirty bits.

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1. Apple Dumplin Shop

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Apple Dumplin Shop. A woman's bosom.


2. Dairy

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Dairy. A woman's breasts, particularly one that gives suck. She sported her dairy; she pulled out her breast.


3. Diddeys

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Diddeys. A woman's breasts or bubbies.


4. Kettle Drums

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Kettle Drums. Cupid's kettle drums; a woman's breasts, called by sailors chest and bedding.


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5. Arrbor Vitæ

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Arrbor Vitæ. A man's penis.


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6. Pego

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Pego. The penis of a man or beast.


7. Plug Tail

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Plug tail. A man's penis.


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8. Prick

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Prick. The virile member.


9. Sugar Stick

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Sugar Stick. The virile member.


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10. Thomas

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Thomas. Man Thomas; a man's penis.


11. Whore-pipe

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Whore-pipe. The penis.


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12. Bite

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Bite. A cheat; also a woman's privities. The cull wapt the mort's bite; the fellow enjoyed the wench heartily. Cant.


13. Commodity

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Commodity. A woman's commodity; the private parts of a modest woman, and the public parts of a prostitute. 


14. Crinkum Crankum

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Crunkum Crankum. A woman's commodity. See Spectator.


15. Dumb Glutton

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Dumb Glutton. A woman's privities.


16. Hat

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Hat. Old hat; a woman's privities: because frequently felt.


17. Man Trap

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Man Trap. A woman's commodity.


18. Monosyllable

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Monosyllable. A woman's commodity.


19. Pitcher

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Pitcher. The miraculous pitcher, that holds water with the mouth downwards; a woman's commodity. She has cracker her pitcher or pipkin; she has lost her maidenhead.



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20. Bawbels or Bawbles

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Bawbels or Bawbles. Trinkets, a man's testicles.


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21. Nutmegs

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Nutmegs. Testicles.


22. Twiddle-diddles

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Twittle-diddles. Testicles.


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23. Whirlygigs

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Whirlygigs. Testicles.


24. Tallywags, or Tarrywags

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Tallywags, or Tarrywags. A man's testicles.

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