Advertising

Just in case you were worried that not everyone with the last name "Trump" was making an easy buck off the worst presidential administration in living memory, Donald Trump's first wife Ivana Trump is publishing a memoir of motherhood.

Advertising

The book, titled Raising Trump, will be about the three children Ivana had with Trump before he had an affair with soon-to-be-second-wife Marla Maples and divorced her—Donald Jr., Eric, and Ivanka. Presumably, it will explain how the two boys wore diapers well into their teens and how Ivanka's name was actually the result of a typo. Gallery Books will publish this garbage on Sept. 12.

"As her former husband takes his place as the 45th president of the United States, his children have also been thrust into the media spotlight," reads a statement from the publisher to the Associated Press, "but it is Ivana who raised them and proudly instilled in them what she believes to be the most important life lessons: loyalty, honesty, integrity and drive." LOL, okay, whatever you say.

Advertising

It's unlikely that the book will be at all critical of the president, seeing as he already sued his ex-wife in 1992 for writing a novel that he said violated the non-disclosure agreement she had to sign after they split. Instead, it will be "a response to compliments she receives about her children." Hard to imagine anyone having a nice thing to say about those monsters, but I guess it happens.

Can't wait to see if this book is more successful than Ivana's wine business, which seems like it fell off about five years ago, when she last tweeted:

Advertising

Is there anything this family can't botch? They're truly an inspiration.