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Let me explain what's happening in this video. Never mind. It would be impossible.

In this security footage obtained by TMZ, Ariana Grande licks a donut. It's not her donut. It's a donut for someone to buy. Why would she do this? I want to understand, but I can't think of any reasons.

The man she's with, her back-up dancer and kissing associate, also licks a donut. What a bafflingly mischievous pair these two are!

But believe it or not, all of this happens prior to the most confusing part of the video. When a store employee puts out a new tray of donuts, Grande says, "I hate Americans. I hate America." But she is American. And what do donuts have to do with America? And what does she hate so much about them that it makes her reject her home nation?

Sources: The Hollywood Reporter