People all over the world are taking big gulps of Lemonade, Beyoncé's modern masterpiece that serves up both empowering anthems and good, old fashioned intrigue. At the end of "Sorry" (the Beyoncé song, not to be confused with Justin Bieber's or the board game), she references a "Becky with the good hair," a suspicious moniker for Jay-Z's mistress(es).
Since people and The Internet love a good mystery, they've been using their collective sleuthing skills to uncover the identity of the one—or many—women referred to as "Becky," and will not quit until they have Becky's head (with the good hair) on a stake. Here are the likely Beckys, many of whom should be in witness protection by now.
1. Rachel Roy
The first theory of the Beckdentity was that Rachel Roy, the fashion designer (and not Rachael Ray the celebrity chef), was Becky. People assumed that she outed herself with the caption on a now-deleted Instagram, which included "Good hair don't care."
Roy immediately fell prey to the Beyhive, who edited her Wikipedia to reflect that theory.
Roy and her people have continuously denied the claims, and she tweeted her respect for the sanctity of marriage:
2. Rita Ora
Them lemon nipples can only mean one thing. Plus, she was in Fifty Shades of Grey, so you really can't trust her judgment.
But, she has also denied it via Twitter.
3. Gwyneth Paltrow
Not only is she one of the world's most consistently insufferable people, but that photo is pretty incriminating. And she has really fancy hair, that is likely lathered in bee semen or whatever Goop shit is popular that week.
The rapper Liv released a song in 2014 called "Sorry Mrs. Carter," in which she brags about being Jay-Z's "side chick." But the video is so poorly produced and uses the font Times New Roman in the title card, so it's hard to take her seriously.
5. Lori Laughlin
Aunt Becky straight-up denied it. But she also misspelled "Beyhive," so truly can't be trusted.
6. Claudia Scheelen
Jay-Z was confirmed to have partied with the Belgian model in Antwerp three-years-ago, and she suspiciously 'grammed the "Lemonade" cover for attention.
The singer was ambushed by both TMZ and the Beyhive, insisting it wasn't her, but also saying, "Any man is capable of such things." Hmm.
9. Jake Gyllenhaal
Love in the heart of the city.
10. Taylor Swift
The shirt says it all.
11. David Beckham
Plus, look at that hair flutter in the wind.
12. Gabourey Sidibe
Seems like plenty of proof.
13. This lady on the subway.
It may have started innocently, but their sweet smiles at one another suggest the possibility of something more.
14. Marina Abramovic
In this day and age, with everybody on their phones, eye contact is basically foreplay—and that eye contact is undeniable. This might be the performance artist's greatest feat yet.