Scottish DJ/Taylor Swift survivor Calvin Harris had a big glamorous concert at a big exciting music festival this weekend, which he followed up with... the saddest peanut butter sandwich in the world. Hold the jelly. He ate it alone in his hotel room and even Snapchatted a sad instructional video:
Calvin, I'm speaking to you as a friend, or at least someone who kind of hates Taylor Swift: you're not doing this post-breakup social media thing right. You gotta make your life look glamorous right now to counteract the Hiddleswift train. Do NOT photograph your late night snacks unless you're eating black rhino sushi with a caviar, gold dust, and cocaine topping.
Like you know Beyoncé's Instagram? Be Beyoncé's Instagram.