Sometimes very famous celebrities do very terrible things that people are quick to forget. Meltdowns and odd remarks on social media are always front and center, but several celebrities' attempts at a music career are easily forgotten.
A traditional attempt at a music career often included a music video, so these efforts are now immortalized for our listening horror. Some of their musical tastes will surprise you.
1. Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan released the album Speak in 2004. She also released a single from the album called "Rumors," which is transparently about partying and being mad that the paparazzi followed her around. Interestingly, she went to the club a lot in 2004, even though she still wasn't 21.
2. Scarlett Johannson
3. Paris Hilton
This song displays as much talent as most of Hilton's other ventures.
4. Brian Austin Green
9021—noooooooo. Brian Austin Green released One Stop Carnival in 1996. Pretty clever of him to go with alter-ego "Brian Green" instead of "Brian Austin Green."
5. Kobe Bryant
Kobe's debut album, Visions, was supposed to be released in 2000. It was never produced after the first single. Thankfully that whole basketball thing worked out.
6. Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian used to move her eyes and her mouth outside the realm of selifes, and she released a the single "Jam (Turn it Up)" in 2011. She was a rising star, but by no means as pervasive in media or headlines as she is now. Not even auto-tuning could save her voice in this song. Not surprisingly, the beginning of the video focuses exclusively on her butt.
7. Russell Crowe
Russell Crowe is great at acting, being an asshole, and that's it.
8. Heidi Montag
The Hills actress tried singing once, which for her was really just rolling around in a bikini. While this is technically her music video, it could also be a clip from The Bachelorette or a diet pill commercial.
8. Eddie Murphy
"Whatzupwitu," the 1993 single by Eddie Murphy featuring Michael Jackson, is indeed a busted song, but is most notable for it's music video. The production quality looks like they sang karaoke at the mall in front of a green screen. Interestingly, Murphy's first attempt at a singing career was successful. "Party All the Time," released in 1985, reached number two on the Billboard Top 100.
9. Carmen Electra
Long before she dated Dennis Rodman, Carmen Electra was an apprentice of Prince. Her self-titled album, Carmen Electra, was released in 1993. Now she sticks mostly to acting, including a recent appearance in 2-Headed Shark Attack. Yep, that's a real movie. It also starred Hulk Hogan's daughter, Brooke Hogan.
10. Brooke Hogan
Brooke Hogan released the album Undiscovered in 2006. Not once in the video does she rip open a yellow tank top. That's a missed opportunity, Brooke.
11. Gwyneth Paltrow
A little known fact about Gwyneth Paltrow is that she produces and stars in movies just so she can have a chance to release a soundtrack and sing. This song, "Cruisin'," is a duet with Huey Lewis from the movie Duets. Her music career never took off, so she'll have to stick with giving dangerous healthcare advice on her lifestyle site GOOP.
12. Honey Boo Boo
Dare you to listen to this all the way through. Go ahead, try it.
13. Tyra Banks
Tyra Banks released "Shake Ya Body" in 2004. Nothing came of it, but Banks has plenty to fall back on. She also happens to be a great sport about laughing at her past self.
14. Steven Segal
Steven Segal is a 7th Dan black belt in Aikido and a yellow belt in guitar.
15. Jada Pinkett Smith
Huh. Long before Jada Pinkett Smith boycotted the Oscars, she had a heavy metal band called Wicked Wisdom. They sounded an awful lot like Evanescence. They also opened for Britney Spears, which seems like a very odd coupling.
16. Ricky Gervais
Let this be a lesson to celebrities—you can't always be a triple-threat. Or even a double-threat. Even though their music careers never went anywhere, there's plenty of work to be found in modeling, reality TV, and B movies.