Celebrities are just like us. They drive cars, they exercise, they have sex with ghosts. Oh wait, you don't do that? Weird. Maybe spirits just aren't super horny for the stained sweatpants you wear to bed every night. Ghost sex is a real thing, but the way. It even has a scientific sounding name, Spectrophilia, so you know it's legit. Maybe someday you'll be undressed by the undead, but until then, be jealous of these 9 celebrities who've gotten freaky with the supernatural.
1. Lucy Liu
Some sort of spirit came down from God knows where and made love to me. It was sheer bliss. I felt everything. I climaxed. And then he floated away.
Kesha's been very public about her experiences with ghost sex. In 2012, she told Ryan Seacrest that her song "Supernatural" was inspired by "having sexy time with a ghost." That same year, she told Conan O'Brien that she and a ghost "went to the bone zone." Later, on Jimmy Kimmel Live, she said her vagina was haunted. Kesha had a vagina exorcism on her short lived reality show, before appearing in an episode of The Haunting Of... on Lifetime. Basically, Kesha told anyone within earshot about horny ghosts. We get it Kesha, ghosts think you're smokin' hot. OMG stop bragging.
3. Bobby Brown
Bobby Brown released a tell all-book recently, and it's chock-full of juicy stories, including the time he banged a ghost. Before you say, "Crack is wack," you should know that Bobby B. assures his readers this was back in the early 90's, before he started abusing hard drugs. Brown was minding his business, living in a haunted mansion in Atlanta, when one female ghost couldn't help but start Humpin' Around. The singer describes the experience in his memoir, Every Little Step.
One memorable night, one of the ghosts descended from the ceiling and had sex with me. After you stop laughing, I need you to hear what I’m saying because I’m not making this up. And let me add this: This was before I ever touched any drug besides weed and alcohol.
In my bedroom I had a big round bed with a mirrored ceiling looming above. I always slept in the nude, so one night I woke up to the sensation of a woman on top of me. I looked up and in the mirrors I could actually see a white woman straddling me on the bed. The sensation felt exactly like sex — I could feel my penis inside of her and everything. It was not a dream; I was definitely awake while it was happening. All of the sudden, she was gone — leaving me alone and incredibly excited and terrified at the same time.”
4. Dan Aykroyd
Before Ghostbusters ruined your childhood with the reboot, it ruined your childhood with an awkward scene where Dan Aykroyd receives a BJ from a ghost. (That was fun to watch with your parents.) In real life, Aykroyd experienced ghosts in his bed as well. The actor talks about the time he "felt an unseen presence" in his bed, and in a 2013 interview with Esquire, he described spooning a male ghost, because he's nothing if not open minded.
I saw the door open, and I rolled over and looked at the bed, and I saw the depression in the mattress, like somebody was getting in there. And I thought, I'm just going to roll over and snuggle up next to it. Maybe that guy was gay and he wanted to have some fun. I'd be surprised if I was his type, but when you're dead, you'll take what you can get.
5. Anna Nicole Smith
If Spectrophilia is real, then there's a 100% chance Anna Nicole Smith's ghost is out there getting laid. Back in 2004, she told the men's magazine FHM about repeatedly hooking up with a ghost who was damn good in the sheets:
A ghost would crawl up my leg and have sex with me at an apartment a long time ago in Texas. I used to think it was my boyfriend, and one day I woke up and it wasn’t. It was, like, a spirit and it — woo! [miming a ghost flying from her her bed sheets] — went up! I was freaked out about it, but then I was, like, 'Well, you know what? He’s never hurt me and he just gave me some amazing sex so I have no problem.' It was not a dream because it was happening every night...I told my boyfriend and he didn’t believe me. Of course….MEN!
6. Coco Austin
I was watching TV...and I was wearing a nightie and I felt my dress move up my leg. I looked down and got freaked out. I pushed it down, watched TV, felt it again and I could see it being pulled up. And then I felt a guy breathing in my ear.
How does that make you feel, Ice?
7. Natasha Blasick
She may have got her big break starring in a Paranormal Activity spin off, but Natasha Blasick had real life paranormal activity, in her pants. The Russian-born actress admits to getting busy with a ghost not once, but TWICE. Luckily for her, she loved it. In 2014, Blasick appeared on the British talk show This Morning, and described two separate sexual encounters with a supernatural super stud.
At first I was very confused... then I decided to relax and it was really really pleasurable, I really enjoyed it.
8. Paz de la Huerta
She's starred on TV shows like Boardwalk Empire, but her real brush with fame was with Elvis. Dead Elvis. Paz told The New York Times in 2011 that she got pleasured by The King himself on a visit to Graceland.
I went to his recording studio because sometimes the sensitive people feel him in this room, and I stood in this corner and I felt him. What can I say? I felt him touch me. I felt his spirit go through me and give me pleasure.
9. Matthew McConaughey
He didn't disclose if they went to supernatural bone town, but Matthew McConaughey said he's been naked a lot with a female ghost, so you do the math. The spirit, whom McConaughey named Madam Bleu, made her presence known at first by making noises. He described their first meeting.
I heard this sound like a dime dropping on to a glass table, I get up with my dog and start running around buck naked with a bat to investigate.I go downstairs and there’s nothing there. I now know it was her because I’ve seen her since. She's a cool ghost. Maybe being nude all the time is why we get along.
Note: if you ever become a ghost, go haunt Matthew McConaughey and he'll show you his dong. But make sure you're definitely a ghost and not alive, because if you're alive that shit's illegal, bro.
Hear more about his chill ghost roommate in this video clip: