It's Father's Day this weekend, and while out your celebrating your own father, don't forget to honor the real heroes in life, celebrities. But be careful, because it's not always easy to spot a celebrity dad. There are a lot of celebs who might look like dads, but aren't—it takes more than a permanent look of disappointment in your eyes to make a father. Here are 15 celebrities who are seriously putting off dad vibes, but are actually child free (for now.)
1. Jay Leno's cars are his babies.
The cars, the jokes, the denim on denim. You'd totally think Jay Leno was a dad, but he and his longtime love Mavis (they met in the 70s) made the decision to stay kid-free.
2. George Clooney seems like a dad, but this silver fox doesn't have a litter.
“I’ve always known fatherhood wasn’t for me." Clooney said. "Raising kids is a huge commitment and has to be your top priority. For me, that priority is my work."
But he also said he'd never get married again, so...
3. Jon Hamm's not a dad, he's just a hunk.
"I'd be a terrible father!" the Mad Men star told US Weekly. "I see my friends who have children and I'm like, 'Dude, how are you even upright, much less here at work at 6 a.m.?'"
It takes a big man to admit he won't be a father.
4. Bill Maher talks politics like a dad, but he's not one.
Bill Maher is vocal on many subjects, and not having kids is one of them. He said in his HBO special, "Be More Cynical":
Don't you think we should stop celebrating spawning? People celebrate spawning! It's not a virtue anymore. There's six billion people. We're not rebuilding after the flood now. Stop celebrating! Every Mother's Day they give an award to some maniac who shitted out twenty kids or something. This woman shouldn't get an award; she should have her legs tied together and be heavily sedated.
5. Leonardo DiCaprio knows not to mix babies with models.
He's not a dad, but he seems like the kind of guy who'd make women call him daddy.
6. Ricky Gervais is happy with fur babies.
Gervais had a simple answer for David Letterman on why he and his girlfriend of nearly 30 years didn't have children: "Kids are sponges," the comedian laughed.
7. Zach Braff wants some little scrubs of his own someday.
Braff was filmed yelling at a 12-year-old actor. He unwittingly appeared on the show at the behest of his Scrubs costar Donald Faison, who pranked Braff by having the 12-year-old spray-paint Braff's new Porsche with fake paint. Braff pursued and caught the 12-year-old actor and punched him in the stomach; this was edited out of the episode.
8. Christopher Walken, why don't you have kids?
When The Guardian asked Walken if his career would have been possible if he'd had children, the actor answered, "Absolutely not. I'm sure many of the kids I knew as a child would have continued in show business, but they had kids of their own, had to do something dependable. I didn't, so I could get by even in periods of unemployment."
9. Jeremy Piven totally seems like a dad.
"I would love to have a big family," Piven told The Daily Mirror last year. "I’m from a family of four that felt right–a boy and a girl. There are a lot of people who work all the time who have families. "
Luckily he's a man and can crank out babies until he's like 100.
10. John Cusack's been too busy brooding to get married or have kids.
Too bad, because it would be awesome to see him hold a baby over his head like a boom box.
11. Matt Dillon's full of excuses.
“There’s been a lot of focus on my career. And, look, obviously this business isn’t conducive to getting married and starting families," he told Details. Feel free to use that line at your next family Thanksgiving.
12. Blake Shelton doesn't have any kids, but will he? WE NEED TO KNOW DAMN IT!
Blake doesn't have any kids of his own, but Gwen has has three. Blake and Gwen (Blen? Gwake?) are one of those couples that makes the internet constantly wonder if/when they are getting married and having kids.
13. Nick Offerman looks exactly like a dad, but he's not.
It might be hard to wrap your brain around meat-eating, mustache-having, Ron-Swanson-portraying Nick Offerman not being a dad, but it's true. His wife Megan Mullally told LA Weekly being child-free helps their marriage. "We always spend time together at night. You know, we don't have kids. So we are able to devote that time to each other," she said.
14. Drake is not a father.
He just dances like one.
15. Justin Theroux is not a dad even though he makes jokes like this.
He married the woman attached to the most talked about uterus in Hollywood. People will be asking if Jennifer Aniston is pregnant for the rest of her life, so Justin can experience these baby-fever questions forever (or as long as their marriage lasts.)