One of the true joys of following celebrities on Instagram is getting a voyeuristic peek at rich people things that are often out of view to normals. What follows is a highly researched, completely unmathematical, totally unproven estimation of how much cold hard cash lies in the subtext of five intriguing Instagram photos from the past week.
Model Bella Hadid uses a Chrome Hearts 100% cashmere beanie as a bag for her puppy, Hendrix, while out to lunch. (She mentioned the brand and material in a separate Instagram post which has since been deleted. Isn't that weird? What is she hiding?) Chrome Hearts is a luxury (aka hella expensive) brand, so this is one fancy pup. A similar beanie made out of wool (ugh) sells online for $232, while a true cashmere one is currently on ebay for $599. So let's guess $500.
Mindy Kaling tries on a rack packed with clothes chosen by The Mindy Project's costume designer, Salvador Perez. Perez has said that he frequently dresses protagonist Mindy Lahiri in "go-to favorites like Lela Rose, Tory Burch, Alice + Olivia, C Wonder, LK Bennett and Kate Spade" and also custom creates about 20% of her clothes with his team. It's damn near impossible to tell from this photograph exactly how many clothing items are on the rack, but I have extensively squinted at the image and my best hypothesis is 8 dresses, 5 blouses, 1 skirt, and 3 unidentified garments. Based on typical price points for the aforementioned brands, the total comes to about $8395.
Reese Witherspoon shared a selfie in a mysterious floral arena and asked in the comments, "Any guesses where I am?" Commenters, who are really on the ball when it comes to these things, knew that WItherspoon was in Singapore inside the Flower Dome at Gardens by the Bay. Admission is $28, and a first class flight from LA to Singapore on Singapore Airlines costs $1693.46. So that puts this Instagram photo at $1721.46.
Famous (the most famous?) feminist Gloria Steinem wore her infamous "clit ring" to her interview with Lena Dunham for her Lenny Letter newsletter. The ring, which is an anatomically correct representation of the internal clitoris, was handcrafted by jewelry designer Penelopijones. It can be purchased in sterling silver for $122 or 14K gold for $535. Steinem appears to be wearing the gold version, so that's $535.
Comedian Chelsea Handler posted a picture of herself lying on the floor and wrote, "I don't know why I can't stay upright. All I had was a green tea and a haircut." Green tea from Starbucks commonly costs around $2. As for the haircut, Chelsea Handler used to go to stylist Kim Vo until he burned off her hair and she called him out on Twitter and TV. She probably doesn't still frequent his Beverly Hills salon, where haircuts start at $300, but might still splurge for that price level. That puts estimated totals for this Instagram photo at $302.