Celebrities are just like us in that they love their pets, maybe more than they love their fellow humans. And can you blame them? Dogs never respond to your text with a phone call. Cats never tell you that you "need to lose a few pounds, just being honest" (although tbh they probably would if they could talk). Parakeets don't eat your ice cream while you're at work, etc. etc. etc.
But some people can take human-animal intimacy so far they seem to forget that pets are... animals. Not people. And no one pushes the boundaries of person-pet relationships quite like celebrities. Because when you're rich and famous, no one is going to say "hey, the way you talk about your cat like it's your baby gives me the creeps."
But maybe someone should? After seeing this list of celebrities who truly seem to believe their pets are humans, you be the judge.
1. Ashley Tisdale's dog knows all her secrets.
We can see why though. She's highly lovable.
If I had secrets, I'd tell them to Maui, too. She seems like she wouldn't judge.
2. Joe Jonas' dog is his "main bitch."
Joe Jonas is dating his dog, according to Instagram.
I think they make a great couple.
3. Gigi Hadid's kitten, Cleo, has a bad Instagram habit.
And when she's not too busy posting on Insta, she cuddles with her parents
4. Cara Delevingne and her dog were incubated in the same womb.
Cara Delevingne and her dog could be second or third cousins, based on appearances. They spend a lot of time together. And Cara misses him when she's traveling, as she relayed to her "pup pup" on Instagram last year:
No one's ever posted an Instagram like that for me :(
5. Justin Bieber kisses his dog on the lips.
Justin Bieber loves his dog Esther and we're shipping the friendship. But, sorry, this mouth-kiss is just a tiny bit gross. For the dog. Do you know where that mouth has been, Esther???
6. Demi Lovato's dog has a better wardrobe than us.
His chic wardrobe is just one example of how Lovato's dog, Batman, has it better than we do. And what more can you expect from the son of a pop star? Yes, "son." Because according to his frequently-updated Instagram account, Batman calls Lovato "mom."
And we can see the likeness. He has her eyes!
7. Taylor Swift's cat craves bougie snacks.
Taylor Swift is head-over-paws (cat pun!) in love with her cats, Olivia Benson and Meredith Grey.
And let's hope they never do her wrong. Because we couldn't handle the heartbreak songs.
8. Bo Obama helped President Obama run the country.
We can't confirm that Bo was a top advisor to former President Barack Obama. But the two always seemed to have a special kind of relationship, and we can't imagine Obama never asked his buddy for some advice on policy once in a while. Sure, Bo Obama doesn't have a ton of political experience, and plus he's a dog. But we'd still trust him to run America more than we trust our current president.
9. Tom Cruise poses with his dog at the beach like a couple of bros.
Wait, who are you apologizing to, Tom Cruise? Your Instagram followers? Or your dog?
10. Ryan Gosling's dog accompanied him on late night TV.
Ryan Gosling and once called his dog George "the great love of my life" (sorry, Eva Mendes!). In 2011, George even accompanied Gosling to his appearance on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon in 2011. You can watch the segment here (SPOILER: George stole the show):
11. Paris Hilton rolls with a puppy posse of six.
Paris Hilton has been paving the way for celebrities who pamper their pets for as long as we can remember (RIP Tinkerbell!). Her puppy posse is now at six, and based on their shared Instagram, they all share a bed. With Paris, presumably. Or maybe that's their own bed? Which is weirder?
In this video, Hilton asked her dog, who is wearing a tutu, if it wants to go shopping.
12. Miley Cyrus inked her dogs' faces on her body.
Miley Cyrus really, really, really, really loves
She even got a portrait of her beloved dog, Emu, tattooed on her arm earlier this year.
She also has a tattoo of her Alaskan Klee Kai, Floyd, who passed away in 2014, on her ribs.
Has anyone ever tattooed a picture of YOUR face on their body? Have they???
Upon further inspection and thought, the only issue with how these celebrities treat their pets is that these animals all have better wardrobes and homes, bigger social media followings, and just better lives than us overall.
May we all be lucky enough to be reborn as a famous person's pet.