Hats off to Chris Brown for only being accused of a very lame, almost charmingly quaint offense. Brown is being sued by a fan who claims Brown stole his hat at a Dallas concert. Yes, that's right, the presumably wealthy rapper is accused of taking a random dude's hat. Brown has been accused of lots of things during his career, and some countries think he sucks so much that they won't let him in to do tours. This, however, is the first time he's been accused of hat theft.
Marq Stevenson attended a Chris Brown concert in Dallas last year, and claims he did not receive his hat back after passing it to Brown's entourage for an autograph. The hat was worth a whopping $25. He's suing Brown for $2,500, which includes the cost of his ticket and damages for being bullied by Brown's entourage.
Although there's no testimony to prove it, it really makes you imagine a situation where Stevenson yells "give it back!" as Brown's entourage tosses the hat back and forth. He should have rounded out the bullying lawsuit by saying they took his backpack and lunch money too.
But still, if Brown can keep up this rate of self-improvement, by next year he'll only be in the news as the lead suspect in the case of a cookie missing from the cookie jar.